These are the champions

[ed healey]

At this stage each millenium the Big Fella reaches into the trophy cabinet to hand out the gongs for outstanding achievements in the last 100 years.

The No Bell prizes.

The nah,nah,na,nah,nah finger in the air award goes to Ronnie Biggs

The undefeated champion of hide and go seek for the century goes to Harold Holt.

An award for service to masturbation goes to Michael Hutchence who proved it can be fatal.

The ha ha you missed me award goes to Saddam Hussein who ducked 2600 missiles.

The tosser of the century goes to whats hiz name that took the late john lennons life so he could be famous.

A special award to the USA supreme court who declared that counting ALL the votes in a democratic election was against the constitution.

The most forgettable politician was a tie.Ronald Reagan who forgot himself that he was one and to Mal Fraser who wont let us ever forget .Hes everywhere.

The most prepared sportsman award goes to Les Boots who had 42 rides in jumps races and had 43 falls,but always had his pyjamas packed in his kitbag for the hospital stay.

The football team of the century is Port Adelaide Magpies who at least have the right colour scheme.

4 men that should never have played football award goes to Neil Crompton,Barry Breen,Wayne Harmes and Ted Hopkins.

And another award to harmes is the wheres the bloody 3rd umpire when you want one award.

The never to be seen again awards go to Fitzroy football club,The Valiant motor car decorated with dangling pom poms,Beta videos,White Englishmen.

And the who will ever forget award is shared by eddie the eagle and eric the eel.

And the funniest thing ive seen all century was the answers to my daughters english exam regards the Q.In 25 words or less describe an orgasm,.

After reading thru the answers obviously Ive never had one.


Stay tuned for the next issue of the No Bells in 2101. see ya then

ed 202.165.66.84 (nor2-21.vianet.net.au)
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ed: We Are The Champions! (12/30/00 11:14 PM)

Bolts: Good one Ed. (12/31/00 1:21 AM)

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[ed healey]

this is a post i put into EB&W and thought it may interest some of you too.
Happy new year

[AlfAndrews]

Les Boots was an interesting case ... Apparently the nurses at the Adelaide Hospital used to check the race fields every Saturday to see if Les Boots was riding. If he was they used to have his bed prepared for him in advance.

The reason he had more falls than rides was that, on one occasion, he fell off at one of the jumps, remounted the horse, and then fell off again at the next jump.

It is even said that he was once being carried off on a stretcher ... and then fell off the stretcher.

What a man!!!

He had a nick-name. They called him "Autumn Leaves".

His riding career lasted 18 years ... and he spent 12 of them in hospital!!!

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**floreat pica**

[joffa#brutus]

Shock horror and dismay,are you people really questioning the yanks and there so called democratic elections?

Where else but in america would you find a guy who has been non elected as president!!

And cop this the new president in his wanking time as governor of 'yee hah' texas, holds the record of killing more mentally retarded people via the chair,than any other person ever in the united states.

And lets not get on to his gun laws thats pretty scary stuff.
This guy still thinks we are at war with the indians...........
Where else but good ole wanking land the U.S of A



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Shite,Shite, Bloody Shite!! Here Comes Collingwood To Kick Your Arse Forever Black And White!!...SHITE...

[DIPPER]

Hey man there's still a few 'White Englishmen' left we may be a dying breed but we ain't gone yet!

RULE BRITANNIA!