If u were AFL Chairman.

[NICK THE PIE MAN]

If you were AFL Chairman what would you do to improve the current state of the game? I would bring back footy played in the suburbs. Demolish Colonial and bring back waverly and vic park. And i would make Joffa and Alf my assitants!

[joffa#brutus]

To
Chairman nick
Thanking you kindly for choosing myself to be on your board of comissioners i realise the task ahead is a daunting one and i would like to accept. However i must be given free reign to bring the game back to the people.I hope you accept my following recomendations.

Colonial stadium our thucking temple built by the rich for the rich must be removed immeadiately preferably sledge hammered with nothing else but Wayne'watch me thuck your game"Jackson's head then we could parade this monster through our city streets and give him a good ole public flogging and then we could tie him like a dog on a lead to the back of the first freight train back to South Australia.

I got another idea commissioner Nick why dont we give there game back to the ordinary people,you know the scumbags who have carried this game for over one hundred years.And then we could blow up that factory that makes those putrid vile filty AFL meatpies and bring back OUR pie the 4n20 meat pie.
Then we could remind the MCG that it was there idea to call this great ground 'the peoples ground'and abandoned the stupid idea that 600 million tonnes of concrete will somehow enhance this great stadium,infact commissioner Nick i suggest if we have any problems persuading them to do this we can just line em up against the back of the grand ole MCC stand that has stood for 72 years and blow the shit out of them.

commissioner Nick we have a problem with people in the outer south eastern suberbs of Melbourne you see they have been told by the outgoing commission that there support for our game isnt worth jack shit you see the people up this way and into gippsland areas have been told its your fault that you live in such remote areas from the central business district of Melbourne.And being strong working class areas these people are not able to afford the costs involved in travelling to and from the city,so therefor i suggest we reopen waverly park put a roof on it and please commissioner Nick we have to fix up that scoreboard.Its a bit like hey guess what the other half of the screen should be showing.

I also strongly advise a new rule of banning suit wearing to the football with the exception of those who are planning a wedding or funeral after the game and cant be stuffed taking two sets of clothes.
Oh and shock horror commissioner Nick believe it or not football people like to go a little bit ferral at footy games so can we please introduce a policy where you can follow and support your club without being harrassed by the baboon security morons and our esteemed police force.
I dont really understand how words such as shit,bastards,scumbags
can be found offensive.

commisioner Nick we have to address the problem of club members not being given the right to see there club on the greatest day of all grand final day.After we sensibly modify the MCG lets fill it with 150,000 membership club supporters from the two clubs competing.
What rights do the other stinking morons have to see this game,you know the ones, they usually dont go throughout the year but on grand final day there they are like shit to a blanket at the expense of the supporter who would bleed and kill for his club.
Yes commissioner Nick lets bring back suburban football but we will have to do it slowly we cant afford to upset the middle class basketball playing liberals as they have been brainwashed by the outgoing commission that supporters pissing in beer cans and supporters expressing emotional opinions and god forbid every now and then some prison escapee will yell out go and get intercoursed,so you see we will go slow on that idea until we can persuade these two bob snobs that we all wipe our backsides
after dropping a carlton.
I look foward to being a part of your team commissioner Nick
i hope you find these proposals interesting and exciting
yours most sincerly
Joffa

[NICK THE PIE MAN]

I have come to realise that this job will be very daunting as i do not reside in Melbourne. And after reading Joffa's proposals,i have graciously decided to hand over full reign to Sir Joffa. But in my last decision as AFL Chairman, i will order the public exucution of Wayne'watch me thuck your game' Jackson. I wish good luck to Joffa and his assitant Alf in there task of bringing the game back to the people.
NICK THE PIE MAN
Former ALF Chairman

[joffa#brutus]

You hear that Alf we are running the thucken show babes
Thanks ex commissioner Nick
Sir joffa

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Shite,Shite, Bloody Shite!! Here Comes Collingwood To Kick Your Arse Forever Black And White!!...SHITE...

[AlfAndrews]

Might I suggest that not only should Victoria Park be re-opened, but that the showers on the visitors rooms be set permanently on cold.

The showers in the Collingwood room can be hot ... but only if Collingwood wins.

I would also like to propose that Umpires officiating in Collingwood games be paid according to how many free kicks they give to Collingwood ... and that they be paid a bonus if Collingwood wins.

I would also like to bring back the duffle coat. I suggest anyone wearing a duffle coat should be admitted for half-price. I would also re-introduce "snowing", abolish the advertising signs on the fences and bring back those old banners they used to hang on the fences.

I would also get rid of sponsors' logos on jumpers, so that a club's jumper is actually the club's jumper ... and not some walking advertisement for the corporate sector.

I would also bring in a rule where Grand final tickets are sold, first and foremost, to season ticket holders from the competing clubs. The M.C.C. members, AFL members and the corporates can then fight for the left-overs.

How's that for starters?

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**floreat pica**

[Spidergirl]

hmm if i were the boss dude of the AFL i would......open up Waverley Park of course, ban lock out trainings making shirtless pre-season ones compulsory and kill all players wives and girlfriends


COLLINGWOOD: TIME TO LIVE UP TO THE NAME

[This message has been edited by Spidergirl (edited 20 January 2001).]

[PieGirl39]

It'd be nice to reorganise the AFL the way it should have been in the first place - an even dispersion of teams from across Australia. You could have probably 3 different Melbourne-based teams, though personally I think they would have to be all new teams, otherwise you can see the problems created by the richest teams getting into AFL and the rest hung out to dry.

As for the Victorian teams of today (and bring back the Lions while we're at it) let's go back to suburban footy. Don't ask me what happens to the VFL at present, but it's already had so many revamps, what's one more?

Let's bring back Vic Park and all the other things we love about footy.

I don't think the AFL can ever be saved in its current format (though certain individuals at the AFL seem to think it can, if you just get rid of enough Vic teams).

What do you all think? I'm just suggesting things; the only thing I really know is in the first paragraph, the rest is just ideas that I'm sure someone else can better.

[PieGirl39]

Here's another suggestion:

All club members should be able to vote for the AFL commissioners and the key administrative posts, in a similar fashion to club elections.

[Broadie]

RE: the re-naming of the AFL

If the illustrious Alf is our new CHairman, why not issue a royal decree re-naming it the
Australian
League of
Football

Problem solved!


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Broadie

[Spidergirl]

well seeing as the AFL have taken away just about everything we love about the game there is only one problem left to fight for and that is our grand final tickets. Damm well make counters on our membership cards to see who has attended most games and give them first priority!!!

COLLINGWOOD: TIME TO LIVE UP TO THE NAME