My fight with depression

[The Prototype]

The last few months, maybe even last couple of years, I have been battling Depression, it got so bad, that I was close to taking my own life. Recently, I finally got it all out, with a girl I met on-line, we got to talking and after a couple of days, I let it out.

I have had a lot of built up anger, that I finally was able to let go off, that was the reason I left. I have had a lot of demons to fight, and now that I have finally faced depression. I am a happier person, I still get down at times. But, now I have someone close to me that I can let it all out.

I am better for meeting Sarah, I owe her a lot, for being there, and understanding. Not many people I know would of sat there while I went through old wounds. I am now able to get on with my life, without feeling down anymore. There is no way I could ever repay her for the help she gave me. I am glad to have her as a friend.

I wish I could tell her, how much she really means to me for sticking with me through the tough time I was having, I am now at peace, no more pain, so all looks good for the future.

Regards,

Dave.

[Daks]

Dave, it took alot of guts to come out and say how you're feeling.. well done. You know where i stand and you know i'll stand by you 100%.

I bet noone else here knows that Dave was hesitant to post this in fear of being ridiculed by others on this board. If any of you even say one bad word about this, you're heartless.

Well done Dave, good luck with this chick.

[Cakewalk]

Well done on having the courage to open yourself up like that and I am glad to hear you're feeling better about life now.
Sarah sounds like a quality human being for helping you work through your depression , but I must ask why can't you tell her how much she means to you?
I loo forward to reading your future posts on here and I hope your life continues to get better.

[The Prototype]

Thanks mate,

On the plus side I really like her, it's strange though, it's as if we have known each other in another life or something. But we have hit it off, I am not sure why I couldn't talk about it before, I guess, I was embarrasing to have gone so close to ending my life, but I am glad I have finally gotten some help.

It's good to be able to come back, and tell everyone that I have found peace, and haven't gotten any anger towards anything anymore. Looking foward to the day she comes down too.

[Canberra]

That's a tough gig Dave. It's even tougher to come out and tell people about it. Good for you.

[HAL]

[The Prototype]

[Cakewalk]

[leonmagic]

Great stuff Dave.

[The Prototype]

Thank you all for the kind words

There was a point to this, not only to let you guys know what has been going on but, to say that if anyone else is suffering this, to let it out, if you want someone to talk to about it e-mail me, or even pm me here.

I am willing to help anyone get over this like I did, I don't want others to feel as low as I have been feeling.

[Johnson#26]

Good stuff Dave & Mags.

Will you guys still be around on Nicks?

[Dr Alf Andrews]

Not meaning to be silly or disrespectful here, but I wonder if there's been any proven links between depression and barracking for Collingwood.

There does seem to be something about barracking for Collingwood that makes us prone to getting seriously downcast.

I've suffered from bouts of what I think is probably depression, on and off, since I was a teenager (I'm nearly 50 now). I haven't bothered to get a formal diagnosis because I didn't want to have to take medication for it, so I've really just had to learn to live with it. It can be very hard sometimes and the thought of suicide has crossed my mind occasionally.

For me, it seems to be about not fitting in with society. I feel a serious sense of isolation which, if I'm in a positive frame of mind, I can channel into creative activity like music, but if I'm feeling negative it just becomes this overwhelming burden and sense of alienation and hostility towards everybody and everything.

Some of the more negative stuff that I've posted on Nick's and other bulletin boards over the last few years has probably been related to this.

I really don't know whether it's just my reaction to the world and all the things that I perceive as being wrong about it, or whether it's some sort of chemical imbalance in my brain. I know that it started to become really noticeable in my teens when I started experimenting with drugs like speed, alcohol and LSD.

I've been clean of all drugs (including alcohol) for 9 years now, but there still seems to be this lingering sense of isolation and depression.

It comes back to that age-old dilemma ... has the world gone mad? ... or have I gone mad?

[stik35]

No Alf, I don't think it is related to Collingwood, although the footy seems to affect some supporters adversely.

I do NOT suffer from depression BUT seem to have some sort of Seasonal Affected Disorder in winter where I feel like just pulling the covers over my head in the morning and not getting up. I can't get motivated to go out or do anything other than go to the football.

I just mark time every year for about 6 months waiting for summer to come again when I feel great about getting up in the morning and am so much happier.

So without football, I would not have much of a life in winter.
Although after getting hailed on at a few of the games last year and with the shit season we had I was starting to wonder if it was all worth it.

I even went up to QLD recently and looked for places to live - I figured with air fares so cheap now, I can always fly down to the games.

I don't think I can stand the thought of another Melbourne winter although this seems pretty minor compared to sufferers of depression.

[eddies bank balance]

Way to go DUDE and i guess that fav song of yours 'short but thick' reflected the way you were feeling,cause i did listen to it a couple of times and its kinda dark,but try listening to The Carpenters 'calling occupants' its my song of the month/s....anyone else have fav songs that make you happy??

[Cam]

Good on you Dave. I suffered from depression myself in my mid 20s, i shudder a little and embarrass as well when I recall some of the things i did and said. I was unemployed, failed in relationships and didn't think i could see any future at all. I shifted towns, got a voluntary job, went to TAFE and then got DIVORCED. Strangely enough, had I not been through the depression tunnel and come out the other side, I think I would have handled the divorce bit much worse. As it was, the events of the past had made me more resilient and I was able to view the divorce with a 'shit happens' attitude. 10 years after being depressed I now have a great wife, 2 reasonable kids, a good career.

As the Nietzcke quote goes at the start of Conan the Barbarian "What doesn't kill you, makes you stronger."

One step at a time and there are ways through the tunnel. Thanks for starting this topic.

And yes Alf, I think there is something to the Collingwood supporter bit.