The Plot Sickens

[mel_kay39]

I think anyone who likes them is harbouring some very strange fantasies about their doctor... I won't go there!

[Magpie Girl]

We had to get the round of vaccines for cervical cancer last year..... Hurt like hell, but that's because I hate needles... Didn't hurt as bad as the tetnas one (I couldn't move my arm for about a week after that one, but anyway).

[mel_kay39]

Episode 127

Secrets

Sean put his arms around Ally and kissed her passionately. ‘Morning, Mrs Rusling’ he grinned. She gave him an Eskimo kiss and laughed. ‘I just can’t get used to that! I wonder if my Dad’s managed to escape the garage’.
‘If he has, he’s been pretty sneaky about it. I thought he’d find us and break down the door, complete with SWAT team and your betrothed, by now’.
‘Ugh! Don’t say that! I can’t believe he promised me to that greasy….’ Ally tried to think of an accurate word to describe her “Cousin” Trevor. ‘I mean, it’s not the bloody dark ages, is it? I should be able to choose my own husband’.
‘You’d think so’ Sean agreed. He grinned. ‘And, you did’.
‘I know’ Ally smiled. ‘This was such a great idea’.
‘I told you, didn’t I? And you didn’t even want to shack up with me’ he reminded her.
Ally slipped a hand down his naked back and goosed his butt. ‘Well, I guess we’re going to have to, now we’re married’.
‘Don’t sound so excited. You’ll hyperventilate’ Sean replied, sarcastically.
Ally rolled onto her back. ‘Maybe we should go and see if he’s okay. Dad, I mean. What if Ash went somewhere and he’s been on his own all this time? Not even eating?’
Sean laughed. ‘Hon, I’ve seen your Dad. I don’t think not eating for 24 hours is going to do him any damage’.
‘Hardy-har. Very funny! He owns a restaurant. So he occasionally tests the menu! Can you blame him?’
Sean kissed her ear. ‘We’ll check on him later. Right now I want to…’
‘Sean! What if he needs to go to the toilet?’
Sean rolled his eyes and got up. ‘Okay. You’ve convinced me. I suppose we’d better go and see if he’s okay’.

They arrived back at Ally and Ash’s apartment. The curtains were drawn and there were three cars parked outside. ‘What the hell is going on here?’ Ally wondered. ‘That’s Dad’s car’ she said, pointing to the silver Merc, ‘And that’s Ash’s, but whose is that?’ She pointed at the Charger parked on the nature strip. ‘That’s Daisy’s bomb’ Sean said. ‘What would he be doing here?’
Ally thought she had an idea, but didn’t say! She’d noticed a weird vibe around those two for the last few weeks. Every time she tried to ask Ash about it, her room mate would change the subject. It was looking pretty obvious to Ally that Ash had feelings for Dale.
By virtue of the fact that he was parked in front of their apartment at nine in the morning, Ally guessed that the feeling was probably mutual. Oh well, she thought. It’s none of my business! She’d met Em before but couldn’t say she really knew the girl. Therefore she felt absolutely no responsibility to do the right thing, and besides, Ash would kick her out on the street if she thought her room mate had dobbed her in!
They knocked on the door. Nobody answered. Sean peered through the stained glass window beside the door. ‘I can’t see anybody. Oh, wait! I think Ash is coming’
Ash opened the door a crack and looked out at Ally and Sean, warily. ‘Oh, it’s just you two. Come in’. She stepped aside and let them enter. She was dressed in her best satin dressing gown and not much else, Ally guessed. So they are on together, she thought. Unless he slept on the couch, and I can’t see that happening! But no one came out of Ash’s bedroom. She decided not to say anything.
Ash switched on the kettle. ‘So, what have you lovebirds been up to?’
Ally grinned. ‘Guess’
‘Hmm… Let me see… Apart from tying up your old man and leaving him in my garage, I really have no idea’ Ash said.
Ally held out her left hand. A small, inexpensive diamond shone on her wedding ring finger. ‘We got married’ she said, proudly. Sean was grinning like he’d just won the lottery.
Ash looked at them both as if they were mad. ‘Are you serious? Look, I talked to your Dad, Al. I know he was trying to fob you off on some family friend, but to go and get married just so you didn’t have to go and get married…. Where’s the sense in that?!’
Ally shrugged. ‘Just seemed like a good idea at the time’. She smiled up at Sean. ‘And it still does’.
‘So, what… are you moving in here too?’ Ash asked Sean.
‘We’ll sort something out. The main thing is, her father can’t force her to marry Trevor while she’s already married to me. It’s illegal’.
‘You look pretty proud of yourself’ Ash told him. ‘It was your idea, was it?’
‘Yep’ Sean said, and promptly started sucking face with his new wife.
‘Ugh, get a room, you two’ Ash said, turning to put the milk back in the fridge.
‘Speaking of rooms, I noticed Dale’s car out the front. Want to tell us what that’s about?’ Sean asked Ash.
She went violently red. ‘Uh… Nothing. He came over last night and was pretty drunk so I let him stay over. That’s all’.
‘In your room?’ Ally asked, grinning.
‘That’s none of your business. But yes. Our couch isn’t quite long enough for him’ Ash lied. ‘His legs hung off the edge’.
‘Yeah, right. Likely story’ Sean scoffed. As if to prove it wasn’t true, he said, ‘I’m about the same height as Dale. Watch this’. He lay down on the couch and put his arms behind his head. ‘Look Mum, no overhang’ he said, pointing at his feet. ‘I don’t think Daisy is taller than me, so Ashlea, you’ve got a little explaining to do’.
Ash looked at Sean, then at Ally. ‘Oh all right’, she sighed. ‘I’ll tell you the truth…’
Just then, Dale walked out of the bedroom in his boxer shorts with his hair a veritable bird’s nest. He yawned, rubbed his eyes, looked at Sean, then Ally, and sighed.
‘Oh crap’
‘Busted’ Sean grinned.
‘I don’t suppose you’d believe I came over here for some peace and quiet after training?’ Dale asked.

Meanwhile, Em drove up the road toward Ash and Ally’s apartment. Her heart sank when she saw Dale’s car out the front. She resisted the impulse to rush up to the front door and start pounding on it like a madwoman. No, she thought. I’m going to be dignified about this. There could be a reasonable explanation for all of this. Huh. Yeah, right!
She parked across the road, took out her binoculars, and fixed them on the front window. ‘Come on, Ash, open your friggin’ blinds, you lousy tart’ Em muttered.
Inside guilty party were standing around feeling awkward and not knowing what to say to each other. Ally looked up from her coffee. ‘Oh shit’ she said. ‘Isn’t that Em’s car out there?’
Dale nearly had a cardiac arrest! He held onto the edge of the kitchen bench. ‘Shit, shit, shit’ he kept saying, like a mantra. Sean clapped him on the back. ‘Good going, man. Like to hear you talk your way out of this one’.
‘She’s not coming up to the house’ Ally said. ‘I think she’s spying on us’.
Dale turned and looked out the window. ‘I wouldn’t get too close to that window if I were you’ Ally told him. ‘She might realise you’re half naked. Then you’ll really be in trouble’.
‘Did you stay here all night then come back after training, you dirty dog?’ asked Sean, actually looking kind of impressed. Ally nudged him in the ribs.
‘He cheated on his wife’ she reminded him. ‘Don’t sound so impressed’.
‘No’ Dale said, sighing. ‘I came here after training and we just… talked’.
‘That’s a word for sex I’ve never heard before’ Sean joked.
‘Okay… We had sex’ Dale said, ignoring a glare from Ash.
‘I’m going to get dressed’ she said, grabbing Dale as almost an afterthought. ‘And so should you, in case she decides to knock on the door’.


*****

Jen lay on the examination table, her legs in stirrups, feeling like the world’s most poked and prodded Christmas Turkey. She’d had a biopsy, countless examinations and now an oncologist was examining her wares. Hey, you might as well start selling tickets, she felt like saying to him. Between this and the flashing at training, Jen didn’t think there was anyone in the greater metropolitan area who hadn’t seen either end of her!
She was glad, up to this point at least, that she hadn’t told Heath about any of this. She’d made up some story about a lecture she had to attend at uni for her degree. She was working part time at the Lexus Centre but still had a year to go before she got her degree in Sports Psychology. One more day off work though, and they’d be asking questions. They might even start asking Heath questions, and that would be infinitely worse. She wanted to wait to find out what the verdict was, though. A few bad cells on her Pap Smear weren’t cancer until they said it was.
‘Okay, Jennifer, you can hope down, now’
‘It’s Jen’ Jen reminded the doctor. ‘No one but my late great grandmother ever called me Jennifer’.
‘Oh. Sorry’
‘So what’s the news?’ Jen asked. ‘Not on my deathbed yet, am I?’
‘Well, we would have to get the results back from the biopsy before we know more, but I’m afraid the cancer looks more advanced than I expected’.
‘Meaning?’
‘I don’t want to get into that right now. Not until we see what the results are’ the doctor said, evasively.
Jen stared at him. ‘Am I going to be able to have children?’
‘At this stage, unless you freeze some eggs before chemo… Then I’d say it’s unlikely’.
Jen swore. And swore, and swore and swore. Why oh why did she have that abortion? Now she may never be able to have kids of her own!

*****

Em decided she wasn’t going to go in and confront Dale. Give him enough rope and he’d hang himself, eventually. Besides, Sean and Ally were there now. He’d have an excuse lined up and they’d likely back him, the traitors! No, she’d wait it out.
She drove home and started to paint the nursery, whistling a merry tune. Dale was going to get a big shock. She grinned. He won’t know what hit him!

Coming up on The Plot Sickens…

Em has a nasty surprise for Dale
Strauchanie reveals the AFL’s plans to his team mates
And Dean has some news for Bella

*****

Episode 128

Everybody needs good Neighbours

Heath sat stunned at the table. His eyes looked watery. ‘When did this happen?’ he asked.
Jen gulped. ‘I went to the doctor last week, and he booked me in for tests, which I had yesterday’.
‘You could have told me, I would have come with you’ Heath said. ‘You don’t have to go through this alone’.
‘I know’ Jen said, quietly. ‘I just wanted to make sure I had something to worry about before I told you. I didn’t want to worry you unnecessarily’.
‘So… Did they say why…’
‘There’s no reason for it’ Jen said, quickly. She knew that wasn’t the truth, though. She might not have had a past quite like Lisa’s but she had made up for that in the last few years. How many players had she slept with now? Let’s see, she thought, first of all there was Heath, then Johnno, then Dane, then Heath again… Not too bad. It wasn’t as if she was Stanner’s sister, or anything. So why me? Jen thought, miserably. What did I do to deserve this?
She blinked away tears. Heath stood up and walked around the table to her. He dropped to one knee, and took her hands. ‘I don’t really care how you got it’ he said. ‘But I’m going to help you fight it’
Jen burst into tears. She wasn’t looking forward to telling Lisa her news. She didn’t want it to change her plans to move to Sydney. But if she didn’t tell her, and she got really sick, would she ever see her best friend again?


*****

Bella and Dean were kissing passionately on his couch. Mia was playing in her portable cot in the corner of the room, completely uninterested in the scene in front of her. Suddenly the theme song for Neighbours started up. ‘You don’t watch this, do you?’ Bella asked Dean, getting ready to turn the channel.
‘Don’t do that’ he said. ‘I don’t watch it, but um… I might have to start, you see…. The producers have offered me a role’.
Bella looked at him, slack-jawed. ‘You’ve got to be kidding! You’re going to be on Neighbours? Dean, that’s, like, totally selling out’.
‘No it’s not’ he said, his feelings hurt. ‘It’s a stepping stone to a legitimate acting career! Look at Guy Pearce, and and…’
‘You can’t think of a single other person, can you?’ laughed Bella.
‘Well… now that you mention it, not really. I mean, Kylie Minogue’s a singer, and Craig McLachlan may as well be dead…’
‘And Jason Donovan lives in England. Enough said, really’ Bella joked.
‘But what about Russell Crowe? I heard he was on Neighbours once’ Dean said.
‘Once. As a guest role’ Bella said. ‘Don’t get me wrong. If you want to do it, then go ahead! I support you. But if you really want my opinion…’
‘Yeah I do’ Dean said. ‘Your opinion is important to me’
‘Well’ Bella said, thoughtfully, ‘If you really want to act, you should get on a decent show like City Homicide or All Saints. Not a crappy teen-driven show where the producers search for talent based on looks’.
‘See, that’s the thing’ Dean says. ‘None of those shows will give me a go until I prove myself. At least Neighbours will take me without any guarantee of real talent’.
Bella shrugged. ‘Oh well, then I guess you’ve got it all figured out!’
‘Hon, don’t be that way’ Dean said. ‘Why don’t you come with me on Monday? It’s my first full day on the job. You can watch, meet some of the cast, and see what you think’.
Bella shrugged. ‘Why the hell not. I might even bring my camera along and see if I can get some shots for HERS magazine. At least the whole day won’t be a waste’.
Dean frowned. ‘Gee, thanks’.
Bella leaned over and kissed his nose. ‘I’m sorry. Of course it won’t be a waste, if I get to watch you in action! Don’t have any shirtless scenes, do you?’
Dean rolled his eyes. ‘Not on my first day! But if you want shirtless…’ he ripped his t-shirt off and flung it on the carpet, ‘You only have to ask’.
‘Oh Dean’ giggled Bella. ‘My daughter’s in the room!’
‘She won’t mind’ Dean grinned. ‘Look. She’s asleep’. They looked over at Mia, who’d dropped to her side, her chubby thumb in her mouth, cuddled up to her favourite stuffed toy, a hippo called Henry.
Dean turned to Bella. ‘So – have you ever fantasized about sleeping with a soap star before?’ he asked her.
‘Oh there was that minute where McSteamy from Grey’s Anatomy was on Charmed, but other than that…’ Bella laughed.
‘McSteamy, huh? Don’t you mean McDreamy?’
‘No’ Bella said, unzipping Dean’s jeans. ‘The other cute doctor’
‘Well’, Dean replied, ‘I can’t promise you my character’s a doctor, but I can show you my bedside manner’

*****

Strauchanie had the full attention of his team mates. ‘They want us to just bend over and take it’ he said. ‘But we should go on strike! Make a stand! We don’t want to be the Blue Roos, or whatever they’ve got planned for us! We’re the Carlton Blues, the good old Navy Blues, and we’re staying that way!’
There was a general roar of approval from the boys. Then Judd said ‘Why do you care, Strauchan? I thought you hated playing for any other team but Collingwood. You can’t tell me you don’t secretly still want to play for them’.
‘I do care!’ Strauchanie said, indignantly. ‘The Blues gave me a go when I was on the football scrapheap! They didn’t let me down and I’m not about to let them down! I say we fight! Who’s with me?’
‘Yeah!’ the boys yelled, in unison.
‘Let’s storm AFL House and stage a sit-in on their front lawn!’
‘Let’s burn effigies of Andrew Demetriou!’
‘Let’s get really, really pissed and watch porn!’ someone suggested.
‘Yeah. Let’s do that’ Strauchanie said. ‘Then we’ll do the whole sit-in, thing’.

*****

Lisa sat wiping her eyes with her hanky. ‘Of course you know what this means, now’ she said. ‘There’s no way I’m going to Sydney’.
‘Oh, don’t be ridiculous! You can’t let an opportunity like this pass you by! I’ll be fine’ Jen said. ‘I’ll keep you updated, and if I get too sick to do that, I’ll make sure Heath lets you know what’s going on’.
‘See, that’s the thing’ Lisa said. ‘I don’t want you to get sick. You need everyone around you to support you. I can’t do that if I’m looking after the ‘dos of the rich and famous. I don’t even care about that anymore! You’re my best friend, and you’re more important’.
‘And if I don’t get better, and I die? Then you would have wasted a great opportunity’.
‘Well, at least I would have been around to say goodbye to my friend! Anyway, that’s not going to happen, got it? You’re going to get over this’ Lisa said, taking Jen’s hand.
Jen nodded. ‘And you’re going to Sydney. Look, I shouldn’t even have told you, but Heath convinced me. He said you had a right to know, and he was right. If I die…’
‘Stop talking like that! You are not going to die!’ Lisa shouted.
‘Then act like I’m not! Go to Sydney’ Jen said, stubbornly. ‘I’ll be up there to visit you for Christmas. Promise’.
A couple of days later, Jen, Heath and Dane were seeing Lisa off at the airport. Dane had tears in his eyes but managed to say goodbye to his girlfriend without breaking down. Jen, however, had a harder time. ‘I’ll miss you’ she said as the two best friends hugged.
‘I’ll miss you too’ Lisa said. ‘Look after yourself. And let that man of yours look after you, too’
‘I will’ Jen said. ‘Call me as soon as you get settled, and tell me which celebs you’ve met’
‘I can’t see myself meeting many just getting off the plane, but I’ll see what I can do’ Lisa laughed. ‘Bye, Jen’
‘Bye, Pinky’
As her best friend disappeared through the doors to the departure lounge, Jen felt like she’d just witnessed the end of an era.

*****

Em was ready to put the first phase of her plan into action. She was going to catch Ash and Dale in a compromising position if it killed her. She went to a high tech security store and bought some spy equipment like cameras and tiny tape recorders.
‘I’m hiring a new nanny for my baby’ she told the sales assistant. ‘We want to make sure she’s doing her job properly. You know, not inviting her boyfriend around while we’re out, and stuff like that’.
The sale assistant, who reminded her of David Spade with a moustache, shrugged. ‘You are aware that recording someone’s conversation without their knowledge is illegal’.
‘The police do it all the time’ Em argued. ‘Anyway, it’s not as if I’m going to show anyone but my husband! We need to know that we’ve hired the right person’.
‘Okay. Cash or credit?’
Em took the surveillance equipment home and set it up at various points around the house. She also tapped Dale’s car while he was asleep. He wouldn’t know it, but the ceiling light and the cigarette lighter, which he never used anyway, would be capturing his every move and sending it straight to Em’s computer. She smiled with satisfaction. ‘Gotcha, boy’ she said, out loud to no one in particular. ‘You can’t fool around on me and get away with it’.

*****

Strauchanie led an angry procession to AFL house. The news about the merger had just broken. No one but the AFL bigwigs was happy about it. Their plan to keep the league to an even sixteen teams, and introduce a Tasmanian team, was right on schedule. Until Adrian Anderson nudged Andrew Demetriou’s shoulder. ‘Uh, Boss?’ He said. ‘I think you should take a look at this’.
Demetriou turned around and stared out the window, his ruddy face going pale. ‘What the hell? What do they think they’re doing?’
‘They’re protesting, Boss’ Anderson said, helpfully.
‘I know what they’re doing!’ Demetriou yelled. ‘I want them to stop!’ He bristled and boiled as he watched the swarm of players march up the steps of AFL House. ‘They’re not coming in here!’ he said. ‘Call security’.
Anderson got on the phone to the building’s security division. ‘They’re right on it, sir’ he said, putting the phone down. ‘But they say Strauchan has a legal right to stage a peaceful protest on the steps. If he comes in, though…’
Demetriou sighed and wiped his sweaty brow. ‘This merger is going ahead whether they like it or not’ he said. ‘There aren’t enough North supporters to complain about it, and most of Carlton’s members have deserted the sinking ship. Either the clubs merge or they disappear’.
They could hear loud chanting from three stories down. “Hell no, we won’t go” seemed to be the popular mantra. That and “No Roos; We are The Blues” while the North Melbourne players that had bothered to show up were singing “No Blues, We are the Roos”. It was all a bit of a dog’s dinner, really.
Strauchanie held up a sign saying “We are The Blues and we are PROUD! Shout it out LOUD!” He led the crowd in a rousing rendition of the Carlton theme song. All of a sudden there was a cloud of smoke and men in helmets with large shields descended on the protest.
‘This wasn’t meant to happen’ Adrian Anderson said. ‘It was a peaceful protest!’
‘We better get down there’ Demetriou said, ‘Before World War Three erupts!’
Down at the steps the Mayor John So was trying to talk Strauchanie into a truce with the AFL. But Strauchanie would not be moved. He kept playing conductor, swinging his arms as the crowd sang “We Are The Navy Blues” louder this time.
‘You can’t win, Strauchanie’ So was saying. ‘The AFL too big with too much money!’
‘I don’t care’ Strauchanie yelled over the singing. ‘I’m not going anywhere and neither are they’.
The riot squad were standing on the outside of the protest, looking at each other and shrugging. They had expected anything but a bunch of disgruntled football players and a few fans standing on the steps, singing their little hearts out. ‘Nobody’s even drunk’ one of them said. ‘Oh wait, hang on. There’s Ben Cousins’. Cousins was lying in a pool of his own vomit, as usual. ‘Come on, Benny’ one of the policemen said. ‘Let’s find you a nice bed for the night’.
‘Oh. Okay’ Ben said, going with the police without a fight.
‘So what are you going to do? Just stay here?’ So asked Strauchanie, one hand over an ear to block out the crowd.
‘Yes! Until they change their mind! They can’t have their precious football season without North Melbourne and Carlton! Let’s see what they do when neither team takes the field! We’re officially on strike, Johnny my boy’ Strauchanie told the Mayor. ‘Tell Demetriou we’re not going anywhere’.

*****

Dean took Bella to the set of Neighbours. She sat and watched as some of the cast ran through rehearsals in the morning. Dean finally got to do his first real bit of dialogue, which he delivered perfectly, of course.
After his scene was filmed he introduced her to Natalie Blair, Dan O’Connor and Ryan Moloney, who Bella thought was trying to crack onto her. ‘Aren’t you married?’ she asked him.
‘Yeah’ he said. ‘What’s your point?’
‘Oh forget it’ Bella sighed, and removed his hand from her lap. ‘I’m here with Dean. Okay?’
He shrugged. ‘Fine with me’.
Bella turned and ran straight into some bloke with light brown hair and a bit of stubble. Other than the facial hair, he was kind of cute.
‘Oh, I’m so sorry’ she said. ‘I didn’t mean to bump into you’
‘That’s okay. I’m Sweeney’ he said, by way of introduction. ‘I haven’t seen you around here before’.
‘That’s because I’m just visiting’ she told him. ‘I’m with Dean’.
She almost didn’t want to tell him that. He really was pretty cute!
‘Oh’ he said. ‘Like as in, a girlfriend?’
‘Uh…Yeah’ Bella said. ‘I’m Dean’s girlfriend’.
‘That’s weird’ he said, scratching his chin. ‘He said he’s single’.
‘Oh’ Bella frowned. ‘Did he now?’
‘Nah, just pullin’ your chain’ Sweeney laughed. ‘He actually told us he was bringing you today! You’re Bella, right?’
‘Yeah’ Bella laughed. ‘Pleased to meet you’
‘The pleasure’s all mine’ Sweeney said, taking the hand she held out and kissing it, like an old-fashioned gentleman. Bella blushed. ‘You’re a real actor, you know that?’
He raised an eyebrow. ‘As opposed to?’
She shrugged. ‘Well, this is a soap opera. I sort of expected nothing but a bunch of pretty people swanning around; trying to remember their lines without tripping over their egos’.
Sweeney laughed. ‘Well, there are a few egos here, but if I mentioned names I’d have to kill you’.
‘Oh, well, I can’t have that’ Bella replied. ‘I think I can live without knowing who’s a diva and who isn’t’.
‘So what’s the male version of a diva?’ Sweeney asked. ‘I’ve always wondered that’
‘I don’t really know’ Bella realised. ‘Trouble with a capital T?’
Sweeney laughed. ‘You’re funny’
‘Gee thanks’ Bella said. ‘And you’re cute’
Oh my God, she thought. Did I just say that out loud?!
Sweeney was grinning at her. ‘Thanks. But you’d better get back to Dean before he thinks I’ve absconded with his girlfriend’. He bowed. ‘Parting is such sweet sorrow’
Bella laughed, shaking her head. ‘You’re a trip’.
Sweeney stood up straight and grinned. ‘I aim to please’
Dean met her at the catering table. ‘Having fun so far?’ he asked.
‘Yeah’ Bella smiled. ‘This might not be a bad idea after all’ She popped a mini-pizza in her mouth.
‘Just as long as you don’t mind my next scene’ Dean said. ‘I’m supposed to kiss Pippa Black’.
‘Kissing already?’ Bella asked, almost swallowing the mini pizza whole. She coughed and hit her chest with a clenched fist. ‘You just showed up in Erinsborough! Wow, those Ramsey Street girls move fast’.
‘Yeah’ Dean said. ‘Are you sure you’re all right with this?’
‘Hey’ Bella said, tears in her eyes from almost choking, ‘You kissed Brendan and I didn’t mind. This isn’t even the same thing. It’s work’.
‘I knew it. You’re a doll’ Dean said, giving Bella a quick hug and racing over to the set as someone called his name.
I might be a doll, Bella thought, but if he thinks I’m going to watch him kiss another girl, he’s got another thing coming!

*****

Em sat at her computer console, watching the interior of Dale’s car for any signs of movement. He should have finished training right about now, she thought. Let’s see what the mouse gets up to while the cat’s away, shall we? She switched vision to concentrate on the camera inside the ceiling light. It was poised on an angle to show the back of the front seats. She’d be able to see who got in the car with him. She didn’t have to wait long. Exactly five minutes after he would have left the Lexus Centre, Dale got into his car. But he appeared to be alone. No, wait. He was talking to someone out his side window. Em couldn’t see who it was. The angle on the camera wasn’t right. All she could see was that he was leaning toward the window. His head was out of view.
‘Come on Dale’ Em muttered, chowing down on a box of Tuff Nuts and imagining each one was her husband’s testicles. ‘Who are you talking to?’
She soon found out. The passenger door opened and Ash got in. At least, Em was about 95% sure it was Ash. She couldn’t see the girl’s face but it looked like the back and side of her head. ‘Right’ Em said, narrowing her eyes. ‘Giving her a lift home are we?’ She picked up her mobile phone. ‘How about a run to the supermarket for the wife? I can feel a craving coming on’. She held the phone to her ear. It rang a couple of times and she saw Ash pick it up from the dashboard. ‘Hello?’
‘Who am I talking to?’ Em asked, careful not to let on she was watching them.
‘Uh… This is Ash. Dale can’t come to the phone, he’s driving’.
‘Is that right? Why are you in his car?’
‘He’s giving me a lift’ Ash said, sounding irritated. ‘Why?’
‘I just wanted him to pick up some Tim-Tams for me. I’ve been craving them for hours’.
‘Oh, okay. I’ll tell him’ Ash said.
‘Oh, and Ash?’ Em added.
‘Yeah?’
‘If you’re f**king my husband, you’re dead, you hear me? Have a nice day’.

Coming up…

Bella finds that Neighbours aren’t always such good friends;
Ben and Courtnie try to find some alone time;
And Em becomes a Bitch of Eastwick!

[Emily14]

i loved it
lol stay away from my husband bitch hahaha!!
but i want brownie to come into the story for me F*** dale off already hahaha

[Magpie Girl]

Loving the eps Mel!!

Can't wait for the next one!

[mel_kay39]

Don't worry, Em, Brownie's coming up. Didn't mind his effort last night. Wish I could say the same for the rest of them. Especially Dale and a couple of brain fades he had in the second and third quarter... Is it the altitude or the fact that half the team had had gastro? Hope it's no indication of how they're going to play in the season proper.

Anyway, onto the next episode...

Episode 129

Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned!

Danni sat stunned, while Jen cried her eyes out at her dinner table. The guys were in the study, checking out some site on the internet, so the girls had a few minutes to themselves. ‘I wasn’t going to tell anybody, but the doctor said that I might lose my hair with the chemo, and I will have to freeze my eggs and look for a surrogate if I want to have kids, because I won’t be able to carry!’ She broke down again. ‘I never should have had that abortion! Now I might never have kids!’
‘Yes you will’ Danni said, suddenly. ‘If I have anything to do with it’.
Jen looked up, her eyes red. ‘What?’ She asked.
Danni smiled. ‘If you need someone to be your surrogate, look no further’.
Jen gasped, stunned. ‘But… What will Nick think about it?’
‘Nick has no say. It’s my body, my decision. Anyway, I know I can carry a foetus to term’.
‘But what if you get pre-eclampsia again?’ Jen asked.
‘The doctors will be aware of it. Plus if I look after myself better this time, I shouldn’t’. Danni said. ‘Look, you don’t have to say yes, if you’re worried about insulting me. I just made the offer, that’s all’.
‘Thanks mate’ said Jen, gratefully. ‘I’ll talk it over with Heath’. The friends hugged. Nick came in the room. ‘Hey, what’s with all the love in the room? Can I get me some?’ he laughed.
‘Yeah okay’ Jen grinned, and hugged Nick. Then she gave him a noogie on the top of his shaved head. ‘Gotcha!’
‘What are you girls so happy about?’ Heath asked.
Jen looked at Danni, who shrugged. ‘Danni just offered to go surrogate for us’.
Heath blinked. ‘She what? I didn’t realise we were thinking of having a baby yet’.
‘Not yet, but when we’re ready’ Jen said. ‘At least we know there’s someone willing to do it’.
Nick gave Danni a funny look, but didn’t say anything. After Jen and Heath had gone home, he immediately brought it up.
‘Are you sure you’ve thought about this? Jen only just told you about this today’.
‘Did Heath tell you?’ Danni asked.
‘Yeah. He’s pretty upset about it. Of course, he doesn’t want to lose Jen but I understand his not wanting to do the baby thing yet. They’ve got enough on their plate’.
‘I know’ Danni sighed. ‘I just thought I might give them a bit of good news, for once’.
‘And that’s sweet of you’ Nick told her, giving her a kiss on the forehead and putting his arms around her. ‘But remember how much trouble you had with your own pregnancy? Could you really go through that again, only to give the baby up if it’s healthy?’
‘Of course I could’ Danni said. ‘It’ll be hard, but in the end, it’s not my baby. It’s not made up of me and you’. She stared up at him. ‘Speaking of which, I was wondering…’
‘Oh no’ Nick said, ‘I’m not having kids yet! Don’t you want to travel, have fun before tying yourself down?’
‘Having kids isn’t tying yourself down’ Danni said, feeling hurt. ‘It’s about creating life with someone you love’.
‘And I’m not ready to do that yet’ Nick said. ‘Okay?’ He tried to kiss Danni again but she pulled away. ‘Dan… Don’t be like that! We’ve been together, what, six months? I still feel like we’re in that honeymoon stage of the relationship! Let’s not spoil things by moving too soon’.
‘Okay’ Danni sighed. ‘Well, if I’m not going to have my own, I might as well have someone else’s’.
Nick sighed. ‘Whatever. I’m going to watch TV in bed. Coming?’
‘If I do, you won’t be watching much TV’ Danni warned him.
Nick grinned. ‘That’s the whole point’.

*****

Meanwhile, Em was getting hormonal and vocal on Dale’s arse. ‘You keep spending time with her and the other day you gave her a lift! What am I supposed to think?’
‘Nothing is going on’ Dale lied. ‘I swear’.
‘Then what’s this?’ Em held out a condom wrapper. ‘I found this under the couch. Seems you forgot to hide the evidence! I know we sure as hell haven’t had it off in the lounge lately – much less anywhere else – so explain your self’.
‘Um…’ Dale looked decidedly uncomfortable. ‘I can’t’.
‘I didn’t think so’ Em said, quietly. ‘Who was it?’
‘N-no one you know’ Dale said, quickly.
‘So you just brought some slut back to our house and screwed her on our couch? Somehow I don’t quite believe that story’. Em said, narrowing her eyes, which were filling with tears. ‘I know I’ve been a bitch lately, but I can’t imagine you going out and doing something that hurtful just to spite me’.
‘So is it more hurtful if I did it with a stranger than a friend?’ Dale asked, confused.
‘No! It would be ten times worse if you did it with a friend’ Em hissed. ‘So who was it? Ash? Leelee? Who?’
Dale hung his head. ‘I can’t tell you’ he said.
‘Bullshit you can’t! More like, you won’t!’
‘Was it Bella?’
‘Why would I cheat on you with Bella? She’s with Dean’.
‘So it’s Ash, then’.
His silence was deafening. ‘You bastard’ Em raged. ‘How could you do that to me?’ She flung herself at him, and started hitting him with clenched fists. Dale held her off and pushed her away as gently as he could. She was still pregnant, after all. She was four and a half months along and really starting to show. Dale started to feel ashamed of him self. Had he really started an affair because sex with his wife had become less than appealing?
Was that what it was all about?
Em was sitting on the edge of their bed. She got up slowly, not looking at him, and grabbed her handbag. ‘I’m going out for a while’ she told him. ‘Don’t be here when I get back’.
‘What…’ Dale tried to say.
‘I want you out’ Em said. The look on her face told him she was dead serious.
‘This is my house too’ Dale yelled after her. All he got in response was the front door slamming on her way out.

*****

Ben and Courtnie were sucking face in earnest when the door to his bedroom opened and his mother walked in. ‘Oh Ben how could you?’ she howled. ‘Bringing some tart home and fornicating on your bed! I was just about to ask if you wanted some cheesecake! I made it today, myself! But you can’t have any now!’ She walked back out, her hand over her mouth like she was about to vomit.
‘Great’ Ben sighed. ‘Where can we go where we won’t be interrupted?’
‘Not my place’ Courtnie said. ‘My Dad’s a butcher at the South Melbourne Meat Market. If he caught us, he’d come after you with one of his cleavers’.
Ben shivered. ‘Great. Good to know’. He looked at her. ‘How does he know Mick Malthouse, then?’
‘He went to school with him; or something’ Courtnie said. ‘I know Dad used to play a bit of footy in his time, too. I’m not exactly sure how they met, but they’re pretty good buddies’.
‘Oh’ Ben said. ‘Well, the Lexus Centre is out, then, too’.
‘Not all of the Lexus Centre’ Courtnie said, suddenly.
‘What?’
‘I’ve got an idea’ Courtnie said. ‘Meet me at the merchandise shop on Wednesday, near closing time. I’ll fill you in then’. She winked at him and left the room.

*****

Bella watched Dean do a romantic scene with Pippa Black, her stomach in knots. It’s just work, she told herself. But it wasn’t. The way those two giggled together off-stage was enough to make Bella gag. That bimbo got along far too well with Dean for her liking!
And now his character seemed to be Elle’s new love interest! Bella sighed and tried to watch but found her gaze straying. She saw Sweeney over in the corner and waved at him. He waved back and came over. ‘Not liking Dean’s storyline much, huh?’ he asked.
‘That’s the writers’ fault, not his’.
‘I know’ Bella said. ‘But it doesn’t help when they go off giggling together in between scenes. You’d tell me if there was anything going on, wouldn’t you?’
‘Of course’ Sweeney said. ‘But there isn’t. You’re all Dean talks about’.
‘Really?’ Bella asked, surprised. ‘He talks to you about me?’
‘Nah. He was talking about you to the chick who does our hair. Telling her you were this big shot photographer from a women’s magazine. He sounded pretty proud of you’.
‘That’s a relief’ Bella said.
‘I’d watch out for Pippa, though’ Sweeney said. ‘I think she likes him. I don’t think it bothers her that he’s got a girlfriend, either’.
‘Thanks for the warning’ Bella said. ‘I’ll keep an eye on that one’.
After the scene, Pippa said something to Dean, and walked off toward the makeup trailer. Dean came over to Bella and sat beside her. Poking her playfully in the ribs, he asked her opinion on his acting. ‘Pretty good’ Bella said. ‘But you look at the camera too much. Try to forget it’s there’.
‘I do, it’s just hard’ Dean said. ‘I’m still getting used to this acting jag’.
‘I know. But you will’ Bella said, sliding an arm around him. She noticed Pippa come back out of the makeup trailer and turned Dean’s face toward her own. ‘Don’t I get a kiss for being a supportive girlfriend?’
‘Of course’ Dean grinned, but before he could lock lips with Bella, Pippa’s voice pulled them apart. ‘Hi Dean’ she said, playfully. ‘I was wondering if you wanted to come and rehearse our next scene somewhere private’. She gave Bella a meaningful look. ‘Somewhere like the green room. It’s empty right now’.
Dean looked at Bella. ‘You wouldn’t mind, would you? I really have to rehearse this scene. I can’t get my mouth around the lines…’
‘No, you go ahead’ Bella said. ‘I’ll catch up with you later’. She watched Dean follow Pippa to the green room. She had no intention of going home, however! She approached Sweeney. ‘Is there some way to get into the green room without anyone seeing you?’ She asked.
He raised an eyebrow. ‘You let Pippa take Dean in there, didn’t you? What did I just tell you?’
‘I know, I know, but if I said I wanted to come along I’d just look like the jealous girlfriend’ Bella said. ‘Can you help me?’
‘Okay’ Sweeney said. ‘Come with me’.

*****

Melissa opened the door to a teary Em. ‘I need your help’ she said. ‘I need you to put a hex on Dale!’
‘What did he do?’ Melissa asked.
‘He’s cheating on me, the bastard!’ Em raged. ‘With one of my best friends! As a matter of fact, you could put a hex on both of them! Next time they have sex, make them have an unfortunate accident, and have to be taken to hospital, stuck to each other! Or… curse them with boils, and runny sores! Better yet, give them both herpes! That’ll learn ‘em!’
Melissa laughed. ‘That sounds like the work of a vengeance spell, to me! I know someone very good at vengeance spells! Come in’.
She led Em through the Magic Shoppe to the room out the back. A guy was standing at the sink mixing something in a bowl. Em could smell lavender and cinnamon, and another strange smell she couldn’t quite place. The guy didn’t turn around right away, but Em thought he looked familiar.
‘Nathan’ Melissa said. ‘This is Em’.
He turned around, and Em’s jaw dropped. It was Nathan Brown, one of the new recruits of ’07! ‘He knows vengeance spells?’ She asked Melissa.
‘Oh yeah. His whole family’s very big in the witching world. His granddaddy was a warlock, and his father, and now he’s taken up the family tradition’.
‘What about his twin?’ Em asked.
‘Nah. His twin actually wants to concentrate on football’ Melissa said. ‘He’s kind of the black sheep of the family. When they can tell him apart from his brother, that is’.
‘Hi’ Nathan said, grinning at Em. ‘What lucky bloke got you up the duff?’
‘This is Dale Thomas’ Missus, you dope’ Melissa told him. ‘Don’t you pay any attention to what’s going on at the club?’
‘Nah, not really’ Nathan admitted ‘I’m there to play football, not join a social club’.
Em was still reeling from Brown’s compliment. Since she became pregnant and hormonal, she hadn’t had all that much attention from blokes. In fact, as soon as she started showing she felt completely invisible to the opposite sex.
‘Em wants a vengeance spell put on Dale’. Melissa said. ‘What have you got in your bag of tricks, Nath?’
‘Lots of goodies’ he laughed. ‘There’s the old “hell on earth” curse, where the sufferer has his worst fears visited upon him before he dies; or there’s the Tourette curse, where the victim yells out whatever’s on his mind at the time; or we could do a little nasty sex hex’.
‘What does that involve?’ Em asked, intrigued.
‘Well, basically, his dick shrinks; he has bad breath, B.O and can’t get a boner. Then when he does, he prematurely ejaculates. So, pretty much like the hell on earth curse, really’.
‘I like the sound of all of them’ Em admitted. ‘But Dale already suffers from premature ejaculation, so the last one’s pretty useless’.
Nathan cracked up. ‘Really?’
‘No’ Em sighed. ‘Well, sometimes’.
‘So which did you want to use? There are some others, but they can get pretty hairy. Basically, if you don’t want to turn him into a giant turd or liquefy all his organs until he bleeds from every orifice, you might want to stay away from those’.
‘Uh… Yeah…’ Em said, going pale at the thought! ‘What was the middle one?’

*****


Ben met Courtnie at the merchandise shop at 5pm on Wednesday, just as she’d asked. She pulled him behind a display of t-shirts, hats and polo shirts. ‘No one comes in here of a night-time’ she said. ‘Once it hits five o’clock, it’s totally dead’.
‘I hope your right’ Ben said. ‘Cause I’d hate to get caught again. It’s getting embarrassing’.
‘I know’ Courtnie said. ‘But let’s not talk. I’ve been waiting ages for us to be alone together’.
‘Me too’ said Ben, sliding his arms around her. He started to kiss her, and Courtney felt her knees go weak. ‘The store room’ she whispered in his ear. ‘It’s back this way’.
Once in the store room, with the door closed, the two well and truly went about their business! Shirts went flying, shorts were all but torn off, and Courtnie was very glad her mother had made her go on the Pill! They were going for it with gusto when they heard the door open. ‘What the hell is going on here?!’

What horrible hex does Em have in store for Dale?
Will Courtnie lose her job?
And Bella catches Dean in a compromising position…

[Emily14]

mmm nathan brown!
amazing!

[Magpie Girl]

Just my luck!! Just when it's getting interesting someone has to go & spoil the fun.

I wonder who it is this time.....
Actually I'm not sure if I want to know....

Haha, loving this!!

[mel_kay39]

Episode 130

With friends like these, you don’t need enemies

Sweeney showed Bella a special room filled with camera equipment and TV screens. ‘Nobody knows this except for a couple of us guys, but one of these screens leads directly to a feed in the green room. It’s so that during Rove they can show who’s on next’.
‘Oh. I always wondered how they did that’ Bella said. ‘I thought they just took a camera in there’.
‘Nah. Anyway, check this out’ Sweeney switched on one of the TV sets. A view of the green room (which wasn’t green at all) came up on the screen, and Bella gasped. Pippa was clutching the front of Dean’s shirt, and pulling him to her. They couldn’t hear what she was saying, but Bella had a pretty good idea it wasn’t from the script!
‘I’m going in’ she told Sweeney. ‘That bitch has got to be stopped’.
‘And how is that going to look?’ he asked her. ‘They’ll wonder how you knew’.
‘I’ll say I came looking for him. I’ll say he’s wanted on set’ Bella said.
‘What if they really are rehearsing?’ Sweeney reminded her. ‘You could end up looking like a dill. And then Dean would think you don’t trust him’.
‘Who’s side are you on?’ She asked. ‘A minute ago you were all for me catching him in the act!’
‘I know, but you have to be smart about this’ Sweeney told her. ‘You can’t just go barging in. You need proof. And I can get it for you’.
‘How’s that?’ Bella asked him.
‘I happen to be very good at spying on people. Who do you think discovered this room in the first place?’ he grinned. ‘I’m like the Peeping Tom of Ramsey Street’.
‘And you sound proud of it’ Bella laughed.
‘Hell yeah! If anyone knows about all the little secrets on this set, it’s me! I’ll keep an eye on lover-boy for you’.
‘And you’ll do this out of the goodness of your heart?’ Bella asked, raising an eyebrow. ‘What do you get in return?’
‘I get to hang out with you’ Sweeney grinned. ‘That’s a pretty fair trade, I reckon’.
Bella blushed. ‘Uh… Okay’.


*****

Dale was working out on the pec-dec when Yasmine passed by. She was wearing a figure hugging t-shirt with “I miss my ex-boyfriend but my aim is getting better” written on the front. Her cut-offs barely reached mid-thigh. Dale thought she looked more cheap than usual. Before he could stop himself, he was calling out ‘Ho!’ loud enough for half the gym to hear. He reddened when she turned to look at him. ‘What did you call me?’ She asked, hands on hips.
‘Uh…Ho-ho? I was pretending to be Santa Claus’ Dale lied.
‘Likely story’ Yasmine snorted, and walked off in a huff.
What was that about? Dale wondered. He couldn’t believe he’d said it out loud!
Five minutes later, he was finished doing his work-out and headed for the car park, still bewildered about his sudden outburst. He noticed Anthony Rocca being hassled by Caroline Wilson, eager for a scoop about his recent groin injury and the reason behind his agro at the battle of the codes match. Pebbles looked like he wanted to knock the ugly cow off her feet, but was restraining himself, just barely. Dale walked past and yelled out ‘Hack’ at the top of his lungs. Wilson forgot all about Rocca and headed for Dale, who bolted, only feeling safe once he’d jumped in his car and wound the window up!
‘You’ll read about this, Thomas!’ screeched Wilson. ‘Mark my words!’
Dale waited until he was a safe distance away, wound his window down a fraction and replied, ‘You need a prostitute!’


*****

Meanwhile, Courtnie was in her bosses’ office, trying to explain her own behaviour to the owner of the merchandise shop. ‘I’m really sorry about last night’ she said. ‘Me and Ben just couldn’t find anywhere to be alone together! My father’s a butcher who would castrate Ben if he caught us at home, so we had to come here!’
‘I think this just proves that you’re too young to be getting into that kind of relationship with a boy, doesn’t it, Courtnie?’ her boss frowned. ‘I’m afraid that if something like this happens again, I won’t hesitate to sack you on the spot. You’re very lucky that I don’t do that right now, actually’.
‘I know, and thank you’ said Courtnie, gratefully. ‘I won’t do it again’.
‘You better not’ he said. ‘Because your father won’t be the only one after Ben with a kitchen knife’.
‘Where are we going to go then?’ Ben asked, when he met Courtnie around the corner. She shrugged. ‘I don’t know. I’m out of ideas, quite frankly’.
‘You were lucky he didn’t sack you’ Ben said. ‘I’m sorry I got you into trouble’.
Courtnie stroked his closely shaven cheek. ‘You didn’t get me into trouble’ she said. ‘I did. It was my idea, remember?’
Ben said to hell with it all, and kissed Courtnie in full view of the street. ‘They can’t stop me from doing that’ he said, when he was finished. She grinned. ‘You’re a doll’ she said.
‘Hey! I have an idea!’
‘What now?’ Ben grinned.
‘Come with me’ she said, mysteriously.

******

Bella decided to do some spying of her own. She opened the door of the green room a crack while Pippa and Dean were going through their lines. It all appeared above board until Pippa messed up a line and laughed. ‘I’m sorry’ she said. ‘I can’t get my mouth around that one’.
That’s surprising, thought Bella, vindictively. I bet you’ve had plenty of practice getting that mouth around all sorts of things!
Dean shrugged. ‘That’s okay’ he said. ‘Let’s take it from the top’.
‘Okay’ Pippa said. ‘You’re a real sweetie, doing this with me’.
Bella couldn’t see Dean’s face but she bet he was blushing. He just couldn’t take a compliment, that boy!
‘It’s nothing’ he assured her. ‘What else am I going to do?’
Bella felt hurt. Gee, she thought. Spend time with the girlfriend you dragged here in the first place?!
‘Bella doesn’t mind?’ Pippa asked.
‘She doesn’t seem to’ Dean said. ‘She’s probably more interested in the filming side of things, since she’s a photographer’.
‘She’s pretty friendly with Sweeney’ Pippa pointed out. ‘You’re not jealous?’
‘Of course I am’ Dean said. ‘But what am I going to do, tell her not to talk to him? I’m not possessive like that’.
Bella instantly felt better. He was jealous of Sweeney? There’s nothing going on there, she wanted to tell him. Sweeney’s just a friend. A cute friend, sure… But just a friend.
‘Aha’ said a voice behind her. ‘Couldn’t help yourself, could you?’
She turned. It was Sweeney, of course. ‘They’re not doing anything’ she said. ‘We should call this whole spying thing off’.
‘I don’t know about that’ Sweeney said, in a low voice. ‘Look’.
Bella turned around. To her horror, Pippa was kissing Dean and he wasn’t pulling away!
‘That’s not in the script’ Sweeney said, helpfully. Not!
Bella barged into the room. ‘What is going on?’ she cried. ‘Dean, how could you?’
Dean pushed Pippa away. Too little too late; Bella thought, angrily.
‘I didn’t mean it’ he said. ‘She just jumped me’.
‘And I suppose Brendan just jumped you that time, too?’ Bella blurted.
Dean looked shocked. ‘Bella!’ He looked at Pippa and Sweeney whose jaws were dropping in unison. ‘Brendan?’ Pippa gasped. ‘You kissed a guy? You? Innocent little Dean Geyer?!’
‘No, he kissed me’ Dean said, quickly. ‘He was confused, poor boy’. Dean looked at Bella. ‘You weren’t going to tell anyone about that, remember?’
‘I know, I’m sorry, it just came out’ Bella admitted. ‘But you were kissing Pippa. Make your mind up, Dean. Who do you really want?’
‘You’ Dean said, quickly. ‘It’s always been you’.
‘Well’ Bella said. ‘Prove it, then. In the meantime, I need to be alone for a while’. She turned and walked out.
Dean started to go after her, but Sweeney stopped him. ‘I think she was serious, mate’ he said.
‘That would suit you fine, wouldn’t it?’ Dean asked, bitterly. ‘You’ve been after her from day one’.
‘I have not. We’re just friends. But she’s pretty upset. Give her some time’ Sweeney suggested. ‘And you might want to buy her a huge bunch of flowers or something, to make up for everything’.
‘I’ve got a better idea’ Dean said. ‘I think jewellery will say it better’.

*****

Courtney took Ben to her auntie’s house. ‘The woman is totally obsessed with dolls’ she said. ‘She has a whole room dedicated to them. I don’t know why I didn’t think of this a week ago! She’s at work during the day. She won’t be home until after six o’clock’.
‘She must really trust you if she gave you a key’ Ben said. ‘Are you sure we’re not going to get sprung, again?’
‘Of course not’ Courtney said, confidently. ‘For one thing, my aunty is in her sixties and half blind. If we hear a noise, we just have to stay quiet and she’ll think we’re just a couple of her mannequins’.
Ben laughed. ‘Sounds like a plan’ he said.
They were tearing each other’s clothes off when Ben got the heebie-jeebies. He turned his head to the side. One of the life-sized mannequins seemed to be staring at them. ‘I feel like their eyes are following me’ he complained. ‘Can’t we stick a towel over this one’s head, or something?’
Courtney laughed, and threw her t-shirt over the mannequin’s head. ‘Is that better?’ she asked.
Ben grinned. ‘Much!’ he said, and got back to business!

*****

Dale’s day just got weirder and weirder. After training he went to Highpoint to do some shopping. While there he managed to abuse an elderly lady with a large mole on her face, a man whom Dale thought looked like Mussolini (and told him so, which didn’t go down well) and a shop assistant who wanted him to sign autographs for every living member of her family. But that was not all. He ran into Ash, who was shopping for a dress for Scott and Yasmine’s wedding. She dragged him around to three different dress shops and made the mistake of asking his opinion about a red satin dress. ‘You look like a tampon’ he told her. ‘You should probably get a spray tan’.
Ash stared at him in shock. He’d never been so rude before! ‘Uh… Okay’ she said, her lower lip trembling. ‘I won’t buy this one, then’.
‘Well, you asked’ Dale said, shrugging.
‘Don’t help then’ Ash said, and went back into the change rooms, slamming the door behind her.
‘All right I won’t!’ Dale said, unable to stop himself. ‘I didn’t want to anyway’.
Ash burst into tears, but didn’t want Dale to know how upset she was, so stayed inside the change room. When she came out, Dale was nowhere to be seen. What the hell is up with him? Ash thought. Is he sick of me already?

Dale raced back to Ash’s flat. She had let him move in the day Em kicked him out. Alyssa and Sean weren’t home, so he grabbed the phone and called his best friend at the club, Scott Pendlebury. ‘Something’s not right, mate’ he told Scott. ‘I just keep saying whatever comes into my head’.
‘How’s that different to the way you usually are?’ Scott joked.
‘You’re not helping’ Dale said.
‘Sorry. I’m just not sure what to say to you!’
‘I told your girlfriend she looked like a ho’ Dale blurted.
‘You what?’
‘I’m sorry, but that’s just what I was thinking at the time! See what I mean?’
‘Yeah, well… She does dress kind of trashy, sometimes’ Scott admitted. ‘But I’m trying to get her out of that habit’.
‘I just wish I knew what was going on’ Dale said, miserably. ‘I feel like gagging myself, sometimes. You wouldn’t believe what I said to Ash. I’m so ashamed; I don’t want to repeat it’.
‘You know what?’ Scott said, suddenly. ‘It sounds like a spell’.
‘What?’ Dale said, incredulously.
‘Don’t laugh, but Brownie’s kind of into all that stuff. He told me once about his family. They’re all witches. Warlocks, actually. Maybe he’s got something to do with this’.
Dale cracked up. ‘Witches! Witches don’t exist’.
‘Don’t be too sure’ Scott said, mysteriously. ‘Remember how Jen started flashing us at training? I’m pretty sure she wouldn’t have done that unless she was under some kind of spell’.
Dale thought about it. ‘Hmmm…’ he said. ‘Good point. I’ll look into it’.

*****

Em meanwhile, was watching Brownie cook up one of his potions. ‘I just love the way you chop up those mandrake roots’ she said, her chin in her hands.
Brownie laughed ‘You’re a massive flirt’ he said. ‘Does Dale know you’re here?’
‘I don’t know, and I don’t care’ Em said. ‘That cheating lying mongrel is going to get what’s coming to him’.
‘If he isn’t already’ Brownie said. ‘I did the spell last night. It should have hit him by now. I bet he’s currently wondering why he’s spilling his guts to total strangers on the street’.
Em laughed. ‘I’d like to see that’.
‘Are you really sure about this?’ Brownie asked, raising an eyebrow. ‘I know you hate him right now, but he could really end up being bashed’.
Em frowned. ‘Yeah, I did think about that’ she admitted. ‘But then I thought, so what? It’s his own fault! If he hadn’t started screwing one of my best friends, none of this would be necessary!’
‘Gee, I’d hate to get on the wrong side of you’ Brownie said.
‘You can get on whatever side of me you want’ Em said, playfully.
Brownie almost spilt the entire jar of bat’s blood into the pot on the stove, which was simmering and emitting a disgusting smell. He smiled at Em. ‘Believe me, I would if I could’ he admitted. ‘But you’re married’.
‘That didn’t stop Dale’ she pointed out.
‘Yeah, but still…’ Brownie said. ‘I thought this whole thing was to teach Dale a lesson’.
‘It was, but can’t I have my fun, too?’ Em asked.
Brownie grinned. ‘Well, when you put it that way…’
Next thing she knew, Brownie was kissing her passionately, while the evil smelling brew simmered on the stove….

Next on The Plot Sickens

The Bitches of Eastwick chose their vessel – who will it be?
Dale makes a shocking discovery and…
Jen undergoes chemo

[Emily14]

yes...finally im kissing someone attractive in the story

[Magpie Girl]

Haha! Heebie-jeebies from a maniquin...... That's funny!!!

I'm liking this!!

[Emily14]

[mel_kay39]

Episode 131

The Shit hits the fan – Part One

‘I have to get these losers off my front lawn’ Demetriou said to his 2IC, Adrian Anderson. ‘It was all very well when they were camped out on the steps of AFL house, but now it’s personal! What am I going to do?’
‘Well’ Anderson said. ‘There’s really only one thing you can do. Drop this whole merger business’.
‘I don’t want to do that’ Demetriou said, impatiently. ‘Something has to be done about the current state of the national competition! There are too many struggling Melbourne teams, and no Tasmanian team!’
‘So why get rid of Carlton? They might suck like the girls from Bangkok, but they’ve got a long history in the VFL. They won’t let you dismantle the Navy Blues that easily’.
‘I know’ Demetriou sighed.
‘We need a distraction’ Anderson said. ‘Something to take their minds off what’s happening. And the only thing that will do that is…. Beer’.
‘Huh?’
‘Do you have any better ideas?’ Anderson asked. ‘Tell them there’s a party on and guaranteed, they’ll forget about their stupid sit-in. As long as you tell them the beer’s free’.
‘And I know just who to call’ Demetriou said, grinning.
He picked up the phone, and dialled a number he hadn’t used in a long time, but because it spelled P-I-G-S A-R-S-E on the keypad, was easy enough to remember!
‘Hi John’ Demetriou said.
‘G’day’ said John Elliot.
‘Remember how you said you wanted to pay back those wankers who threw you off the board at Carlton?’
‘Of course I do’ Elliot said.
‘Well, I’ve got a way for you to get back at them’ Demetriou said, mysteriously.

*****

Dale walked into the Magic Shoppe where Scott had told him Nathan Brown worked as a potion-brewer. The air was thick with incense. He glanced at jars on shelves, making a face when he realised what some of the contents were. He picked up a pyramid shaped candle that smelled alluringly of vanilla, and wondered if Ash would like it. He had to make up to her for his terrible behaviour at Highpoint. Or maybe she’d like something a bit more expensive? If he knew women, he knew the answer to that one!
While he browsed the shelves for a suitable gift for Ash, he heard voices in the back room. He strained his ears. The curtain separating the shop from whatever lay beyond was made of beads and crystals. He tiptoed closer. No one stood behind the counter, but Dale didn’t need the help of a sales assistant yet. He thought he’d heard a familiar voice.
Edging ever closer to the doorway, he stood against the doorjamb, hoping like hell no one would come out and catch him behind the counter.
‘Oh Brownie’ sighed a very familiar girl’s voice. ‘Oh, oh, ohhhhh’
Hang on, Dale thought. I know that moan!
He stepped into the doorway and threw the curtain aside. ‘Em?!’ he said, catching his pregnant wife in the act with his team mate! Em was sitting up on the bench, her maternity dress up around her hips; and Brownie standing between her legs! Brownie went all shades of red and started stuttering like Elmer Fudd.
‘D-d-daisy, It’s n-not what it l-l-looks like’
‘My arse it’s not!’ Dale fumed. ‘You’re supposed to be my team mate! And you’re screwing my wife!’
‘You were cheating on me’ Em challenged him. ‘I was just evening the score!’
‘And having fun, by the looks of things’ Dale said, angrily.
‘Well, yeah’ Em admitted, giggling. Brownie grinned, then hurriedly put himself back in his trousers, and zipped them up.
‘I suppose you were responsible for me losing the plot the other day, too?’ Dale said. ‘I kept yelling out whatever came into my head! Thank God that’s over’.
Em looked at Brownie. ‘That didn’t last long’ she said.
‘Tourette’s Curse never does’ Brownie admitted, sheepishly. ‘But its fun while it lasts’.
‘I knew it! I knew you were behind it’ Dale exclaimed. ‘I want a divorce’.
‘Join the club’ Em said. ‘This marriage is officially over’.
Brownie looked from Em to Dale. ‘Can I just say something?’
‘What?’ Dale asked.
‘Now that you’re separated, do you mind if I date your wife?’
Dale launched himself at Brownie, hands outstretched. The two men grappled with each other for a full minute before the first punch was thrown. Em stood back, not trying to break it up. They clearly needed to work out their anger issues. Besides, she kind of liked having two men fighting over her. Especially now she was pregnant and getting an arse on her like the back of a truck!
‘What the hell is this?’ Melissa walked in from the front of the shop. She waved a hand and the boys stopped fighting. In fact, they stopped doing everything. They were frozen to the spot. ‘What exactly is going on here?’ She asked Em.
‘Oh Dale caught me and Nathan er… getting to know each other better’ Em said. ‘It’s all right though. We’ve decided we both want a divorce’.
‘I won’t have fighting in the back of my shop’ Melissa told her. ‘If you want to join us, you’ll treat the magic circle with respect’.
‘Okay. Sorry’ Em said. ‘When do I get to join you guys? I’m hanging to try some spells’.
‘When you have your baby’ Melissa said. Em pouted. ‘Like I told you’ Melissa explained. ‘A lot of stuff we use can put a pregnant woman in danger’.
‘All right’ Em sighed. ‘Can you, like, reanimate them again?’ She asked, pointing to Brownie and Dale.
Melissa clapped her hands twice, sharply. The boys unfroze and continued to fight as though nothing had happened. ‘Stop!’ she commanded, and they stopped in their tracks.
‘Now, I know you guys aren’t the best of friends at the moment, but I want you to shake hands and call a truce’ Melissa said. ‘Dale, you need to forget Em and go back to Ash. Nathan, you need to get back to work! Move it’.
The boys did as they were told, as if invisible strings were manipulating them, although it was hardly against their will. Before he left, though, Dale picked up a stained glass photo frame and paid for it at the counter. ‘It’s for Ash’ he told Melissa.
‘Good’ she said. ‘I hope you guys work out’.
‘So do I’ Dale smiled. He forgot all about fighting for whatever was left of his marriage. All he wanted to do was find his girlfriend and apologise for being mean.
‘Now’ Melissa said, rejoining Em and Nathan behind the curtain. ‘I have an idea'.

*****

Heath brought Jen home from the hospital after her first dose of chemotherapy. She was a bit groggy but otherwise felt fine. She was still trying to talk Heath into the idea of surrogacy. ‘At least consider it’ she said. ‘I might not be around long enough to see any baby of ours when it’s born. That’s why I want to do this now, before I get too sick’.
‘Don’t talk like that’ Heath said, a lump forming in his throat. ‘Of course you’ll be around’.
‘I don’t know that, do I?’ Jen said, turning to him. ‘I know you don’t want to think about it, but it’s a fact of life. We have to hope for the best, and prepare for the worst’.
Heath gulped and turned the car’s ignition off. ‘I can’t handle this’ he admitted. ‘What am I going to do without you?’
‘Oh honey’ Jen said, as Heath leaned over to hug her. ‘You’ll be okay. You’ll meet someone else eventually; and…’
‘Stop!’ Heath said. ‘I don’t want to think about that’.
‘Okay’ Jen said. ‘Neither do I; actually’.
They stared at each other. ‘We’ll do this surrogacy thing; if that’s what you really want’ Heath told her.
Jen threw her arms around him. ‘You’re the best’ she told him. ‘And you’ll be the best father to our kids’.
‘Kids – as in, plural?’ Heath said, raising an eyebrow. ‘I thought you were talking about just having one, for now?’
‘I am. But like you said, I have to think positive. And if I make it through this, I want to have more than one baby’ Jen said, smiling.
‘That’s more like it’ Heath said.

*****

The Carlton boys were ecstatic. John Elliot, their old boss, was throwing them a party. Well, it was going to be more like a pub-crawl, with a bus to take them from place to place. They didn’t know what the occasion was, and didn’t care. The words “Free Beer” screamed at them from the invitations. That was all the incentive they needed!
They boarded the bus on the Friday night after their game (which they won by 20 pts against Brisbane) and prepared for a night of partying. John Elliot sat up the front near the driver, but greeted the players before they set off.
‘G’day fellas!’ he said. ‘I thought I might treat you all to a night out, seeing that it’s a third of the way through the season and you guys have managed to win more than one game! I think that’s a good enough reason to celebrate!’
There was a loud cheer at this. Blokes down the back of the bus, already getting stuck into the free beer, toasted themselves and each other, and started drinking.
By half past three, after visiting two pubs, some of them were well on their way to a nice dose of alcohol poisoning. John Elliot took Strauchanie aside. ‘Mate’ he said, putting a conspiring arm around Strauchanie’s shoulder. ‘How’s the beer?’
‘Beautiful, mate’ Strauchanie said. ‘This is a real great shindig, Johnny! The only thing that would make it better would be a stripper – but I don’t expect you to go to those lengths’.
‘I might be able to fix you up there, Strauchanie’ grinned Elliot. ‘The Pussy Cat Club’s around the corner and down the street. What do you reckon we pay the ladies a visit?’
‘That’d be spectacular’ Strauchanie agreed.
‘Driver’ John Elliot called to the front of the bus, ‘Take us to the Pussy Cat club’.
‘Yay!’ everyone shouted. There was so much commotion no one heard the driver say ‘Um, I think we have a problem’. He was pushing down on the brake, trying to slow down for a red light ahead. But the brakes weren’t working.
‘Mr Elliot’ the bus driver said, loudly this time. ‘We have a problem!’
‘Slow down, there’s a red light ahead, you moron!’ yelled Elliot.
‘That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you!’ the driver yelled back.
‘Aaarrrghhh!’ Strauchanie screamed, seeing the semi-trailer crossing the intersection in front of them. ‘We’re all gonna die!’ He folded in half on his seat, and tucked his head between his knees. Several of the other players followed suit. But the driver yelled out ‘Lean to the right, everybody!’ and swung the wheel sharply to the left.
‘What are you doing?’ asked Elliot
‘I’m trying to avoid this truck, that’s what I’m doing!’ the driver yelled. The bus veered to the left at the last possible second. But it wasn’t enough to avoid hitting the semi-trailer. There was silence after a loud crash and screech of crushed metal. Then all anyone could hear was the sound of cars around the accident come to a halt around it.

Next on The Plot Sickens…
Who has survived the crash?
Will the three witches get their man?
And Dean has a surprise for Bella

[Magpie Girl]

Sounds good Mel!!

[mel_kay39]

Episode 133

The Shit hits the fan – Part Two
‘Here he comes’ said Sharon to Taylah. ‘Get the tranquiliser dart ready’.
The two girls were waiting for their victim to take the bait. Taylah raised the pistol, took aim and fired at the guy standing at the door. He jumped, startled; then slapped his shoulder. He looked down at the dart’s fins poking through the sleeve of his hoodie and pulled it out, hissing with pain. Then he dropped like a sack of spuds.
‘Let’s go’ said Sharon to Taylah. ‘You get his arms; I’ll take his legs’.
They half-pulled, half-dragged the guy up the steps to the back of the shop. Melissa stood waiting inside the magic circle. When she saw who her minions had dragged in, she groaned.
‘Who is that?’
‘It’s Corey the Party Boy’ Taylah said. ‘You pointed him out, you should know who he is’.
‘I wasn’t pointing at him, you moron! I was pointing at the guy who was talking to him at the nightclub! I was chatting him up earlier. Got him a little bit drunk and he spilled his guts. He’s a virgin. But this one…’ Melissa said, kicking Corey’s leg, ‘This one’s had more trolls than Shane Warne! I can practically smell it on him! Get rid of him’.
‘Do we have to?’ Taylah asked. ‘He’s got really nice abs’ She knelt down beside the unconscious Corey and ran a taloned finger over his rippling stomach muscles.
‘Yeah, he’s not bad’ said Sharon, ‘And I’ve always wanted to know what he looks like without those sunglasses! This is our chance! He’s out like a light’. She crouched down beside Corey and took his sunglasses off. His eyes were closed of course, but he didn’t have a crazy mono-brow or anything like that. ‘When he wakes up, we’ll see what he really looks like’ Sharon giggled.
‘This is all such a waste of time’ sighed Melissa. ‘Our window will close, and we won’t be able to do the spell until the next full moon!’
‘It’s not such a big deal, is it?’ asked Sharon. ‘I don’t really know if I like the thought of corrupting some poor kid against his will, anyway’.
‘It won’t be against his will’ said Melissa. ‘He’ll be as horny as goat weed! He won’t be able to help himself! Clearly, if you want something done around here, you have to do it yourself’ She scowled down at Corey. ‘Now what are we going to do with him?’
‘I know what I want to do’ said Taylah, gazing down at Corey, who was still out for the count.
‘Ugh’ said Sharon. ‘I’m not into Necrophilia’.
Just then, their victim’s eyes opened. Corey stared up at them. ‘Who are you girls?’ he asked.
Taylah put a hand over her mouth to stifle a giggle. Sharon didn’t bother hiding her smile.
‘Oh great’ said Melissa. ‘He’s not only a wanker, but he’s a cross-eyed wanker!’
‘Maybe he wanked so much he went cross-eyed’ laughed Sharon.
Corey looked from her to Melissa. ‘Where are my sunnies?’ he asked. ‘Give me back my sunnies!’
‘At least we know now why he wears them’ Taylah giggled. ‘For some reason, I’m not all that interested in partying with Corey the Party Boy any more!’
‘I’m with you’ said Sharon. ‘Go on’ she said to Corey, ‘Get out of here!’
‘Hey’ he said, indignantly, putting his shades back on his head and covering his hair with that hoodie. ‘You girls brought me here, how about dropping me off at Macca’s? I need a Big Mac, like, pronto’.
‘You need a reality check’ said Melissa, waving a hand in front her face, and screwing up her nose. ‘What is that aftershave you’re wearing? Eau de’Moron?’
‘It’s Brut 33, actually’ said Corey. ‘Why, don’t you like it?’
‘Actually, no’ Melissa told him. ‘Only desperate and dateless old codgers wear Brut 33! Live in the now. Buy yourself some Lynx or something!’
‘I really have to eat’ said Corey. ‘Can I go now?’
‘Go! Go on, git’ said Sharon, shooing him out the door.
‘Great’ said Melissa. ‘Now what do we do? There’s only a few more hours left of the full moon. I think we’re going to have to grab the first seventeen year-old who passes by! You girls with me?’
But Taylah didn’t answer. She was staring out the shop window at a group of boys walking along the street.
‘Uh-oh’ said Sharon. ‘I think Taylah’s been hit with the love-bug again’.
‘Hey, that’s the boy I was talking to at the club!’ said Melissa. ‘The one walking behind his mates! Brace yourselves, girls, I’m going in!’
Melissa waited until the boys passed the door; then snuck out. Before any of them could realise what she was doing, she’d covered their friend’s mouth with a hanky soaked in chloroform, and dragged his skinny butt back into the shop. ‘We don’t have much time’ said Melissa. ‘Let’s do the spell, before they realise their mate’s missing!’

*****

‘I regret to inform you that eighty percent of the Carlton Football Team have been either killed or seriously wounded in a bus accident’ said Andrew Demetriou, talking to a crowd of reporters pushing their microphones in his face. ‘There are a number of players who were lucky enough to have been sitting at the back of the bus and weren’t injured, but everyone else…’ he wiped a tear from his eye ‘Including John Elliot, who was sponsoring their little night out, is either dead or dying! There will be a Memorial…’
‘I can’t believe this’ said Ben Johnson to Josh Fraser, as the Pies sat watching the news in stunned silence. ‘How could something like this happen?’
‘Yeah’ said Josh. ‘Strauchanie was on that bus! We have to find out if he’s all right’.
The players gathered around Josh as he called the police and hospital. ‘We want to know about Bryan Strauchan’ said Josh. ‘He was on the Carlton Football Club bus when it crashed. Is he okay?’
The boys watched as Josh nodded, made several muttering noises, and then hung up. ‘He’s in hospital’ said Josh. ‘But he’s in a pretty bad way’.
‘If he survives, we have to talk Mick into getting him back’ said Shane O’Bree. ‘He’s had some game time now. He could be a half-decent forward’.
‘Heck, I just miss seeing him around the place’ said Scott Burns.
‘Yeah, so do I’ added Rhyce Shaw.
‘Let’s go and visit him’ Josh said. ‘We’ll think about that other stuff later’.

*****

The boy opened his eyes. Three girls were standing around him. One was fat, another on the chubby side, and the third was a bit of all right. He blinked. ‘Where am I?’ he asked.
‘You’re in our magic circle’ the fat one said, and got a poke in the rib for her troubles. ‘Don’t tell him anything’ the chubby one hissed.
The boy sat up. He rubbed his eyes. ‘What am I doing here?’
‘You helped us with a little problem we had’ said the good-looking brunette. ‘How do you feel?’
‘My mouth is kind of dry’ he said. ‘And my jaw hurts! What did you girls do to me?’
‘Nothing’ the brunette insisted. ‘You must have slept crooked, or something. Do you feel… Any different?’
The boy, a kid of about eighteen, with light brown hair and brown eyes, shrugged. ‘I don’t think so. Am I supposed to?’
‘Well…. Let me just say that you’re not the same as you were, like, half an hour ago’ the brunette said, mysteriously.
‘Why? What did you do to me?’ he asked, again, looking freaked out.
‘You should be happy. We gave you some special powers’ said the brunette. ‘The power to seduce any woman you want. The power to go all night. The power to…’
‘Why me?’ He asked. ‘I’m a Christian! I don’t believe in sex before marriage!’
‘Well you’ll have to change your ideas about that’ said the brunette. ‘Because you’ve been given the power of our great leader, you’re basically a God’.
The boy’s jaw dropped. ‘I’m a God?!’
‘Yep’ said the fat one. ‘The Pagan God of Love’.
‘I’m a Pagan?!’ The boy said. ‘Oh… Mum’s not going to be happy about this!’

*****

Bella was waiting for her flight to arrive. She was sitting in the departure lounge, tears stinging her eyes. She couldn’t believe Dean had kissed Pippa. She had to get out of town for a while. Why did every guy she fell for, end up disappointing her? Did she have some kind of radar for losers?
‘Bella!’
She turned and saw Dean running toward her. ‘Where are you going?’ he asked. ‘I went to your Mum’s. She said you needed to get away for a week or two and told me where to find you’.
‘That’d be right’ Bella sighed. ‘I asked her not to tell you, but she’s so dead set on us getting back together…’
‘We never split up, did we?’ Dean said, looking worried. ‘Look, I never meant to kiss Pippa! I don’t like her that way. I love you’.
‘Like I said at the studio, Dean, prove it’ Bella said, crossing her arms over her chest. Little Mia, in her stroller, said ‘Poovit’ and pointed at Dean, then laughed.
‘Oh wow, she’s talking’ Dean said. ‘Anyway, I heard what you said, so here goes’. He got down on one knee. ‘Bella Donna, you are the love of my life. Will you marry me?’
Bella put a hand over her mouth. Dean held out a velvet coloured box. Inside was a white gold band with a solitaire diamond in the setting. ‘So, what do you say?’ asked Dean.
‘I say yes’ said Bella, and let Dean put the ring on her finger. They hugged and kissed, barely noticing the people around them clapping. Mia giggled and clapped her hands. ‘Mama’ she said.
Bella took her out of her stroller. ‘Say hello to your new step-daddy, Mia’.
‘Ha’ said Mia, and grabbed Dean’s nose.
‘So, are you still going wherever it was you were going?’ Dean asked, with a smile.
‘Are you mental? Of course not’ Bella laughed. ‘I’ll go and cancel our tickets now’.
‘Where were you going?’ Dean asked.
‘Actually… It was a mystery flight. I have no idea where we were going to end up. I just wanted to get away from here’ Bella said.
‘Aren’t you lucky I found you in time. You could have wound up at Antartica’ Dean laughed.
‘It was a mystery flight within Australia, you dag’ Bella said. ‘But you’re right. With my luck, I probably would have wound up at Inaloo, WA or something’.
Bella laughed. ‘Let’s go to Mum’s and tell her the news. She’s going to be rapt’.

*****

‘Are you guys serious?’ Asked Danni. ‘You want to go ahead with the whole surrogacy thing? But what about the cancer?’
‘I’m having chemo’ said Jen. ‘But we want to have a baby, and now is as good a time as any’.
‘I’ll go to my doctor’s tomorrow, and see what he says’ Danni told her. ‘Hopefully he’ll give me the green light, and then it’s all systems go’.
Jen hugged her. ‘Thank you so much for this’.
‘I just hope you two know what you’re doing’ said Nick. ‘I don’t want to get you down or anything, but what if the chemo doesn’t work? Do you think Heath will be able to handle a baby on his own?’
‘You’ve been against this from day one’ said Danni. ‘Don’t be so negative! Everything will be fine’.
‘Heath has his Mum and Dad if anything happens’ said Jen. ‘I’ve spoken to them about it. They understand why we want to do this’.
After Heath and Jen left, Danni put her arms around Nick. ‘Are you okay?’
‘Of course’ he said, stiffly.
‘You just seem… pissed off’
‘No. It’s your body. Your decision’.
‘You don’t agree with this, do you? What is your problem?’ Danni asked him.
Nick sighed. ‘Okay. Do you remember how much trouble you had last time? You could have died! What if you get pre-eclampsia again, and you don’t get medical help in time?’
‘Is that what you’re worried about?’ Danni asked. ‘I’m not going to die’. She put her head against Nick’s chest and listened to his heart. ‘I’ll be fine’.
‘I hope so’ Nick said. ‘I don’t want to lose you’.
‘You’re not going to lose me. You’re just freaking out because of what’s happening with Jen. Heath’s got more chance of losing her than you have of losing me’.
‘I know’ said Nick. ‘But that doesn’t mean I’m going to be happy about this. The sooner you get pregnant and have this kid of theirs, the better’.

*****

Strauchanie was covered in tubes, bandages and there was a cast on his left leg. His eyes were closed and there was a mask over his mouth. ‘Is he in a coma?’ Josh asked the nurse.
‘Well, he hasn’t regained consciousness since the accident, but it’s only been twenty-four hours, so I wouldn’t call it a coma just yet’ she said. ‘We think he may have sustained some brain damage, so the sooner he wakes up, the better’.
‘Hey Strauchanie’ said Harry O’Brien, leaning down and speaking loudly in Strauchanie’s ear, ‘It’s your old team-mates from Collingwood. Can you hear us? Blink if you can’.
Everyone watched Strauchanie’s face, anxiously. To their relief, he blinked!
‘Open your eyes mate’ Harry said.
But Strauchanie’s eyes remained closed.
‘We have a surprise for you’ Ben Johnson said. ‘Christi’s come to see you’.
Slowly Strauchanie’s eyes opened. He winced at the harshness of the light.
‘Strauchanie!’ Josh exclaimed. ‘Welcome back, mate’.
‘Where…’ Strauchanie tried to say. Josh looked at Johnno, narrowing his eyes.
‘Great, man. What are you going to do, now?’
‘Nothing’ said Johnno. ‘I asked Mick if he could talk Christi into visiting Strauchanie. He said she was on her way in, as we s peak’.
‘Strauchanie?’
The small crowd around Strauchanie’s hospital bed parted to let the coach’s daughter through. She stood at his bedside and took his hand. ‘Hello, Strauchanie’ she said. ‘It’s me, Christi’.
‘I thought you were….’ He tried to say.
‘Married?’ she finished for him. ‘Yes, I am. But I still have a special place in my heart for you, Strauchanie. I never forgot how nicely you treated me when I was being held captive in your flat. Even though you made me marry you, and then consummate that marriage, you still let me watch all my favourite TV shows and fed me the finest in Chinese cuisine. And for that, I will be forever grateful’.
‘That’s all right. It was my pleasure’ Strauchanie managed to say. Christi stroked his hand. ‘And I’m going to show my appreciation by keeping you company! We’ll play checkers and Uno and whatever else you want’ Christi said.
‘What about strip poker?’ Strauchanie asked, one corner of his mouth turning up.
‘Strauchanie! I see you still have your sense of humour’ Christi laughed, embarrassed.
‘I think it would take more than a bus crash to get rid of that’ Josh Fraser laughed, and the other guys agreed.
‘Dad told me to tell you you’re back on the list if you want’ Christi said. ‘He said you’ve done your time with Carlton, and even though you had that terrible game a couple of weeks ago, you showed him that you do have some skill and you won’t shirk a contest. He likes that. So… If you want back into the Collingwood Football team, he’s willing to delist Ryan Lonie to give you another crack’.
‘I’m finished with football’ Strauchanie said, suddenly. ‘The doc says I’ve slipped a disc in my back. I couldn’t play, even if I wanted to’.
The boys all looked at each other. ‘Then… what are you going to do with yourself?’ Josh asked.
‘I’m going to join Joffa in the cheersquad’ Strauchanie said. ‘I should have known I could never be at any other team but Collingwood! It’s in me blood, mate’.
‘Damn straight’ said Scott Burns, patting Strauchanie on the shoulder. ‘And we’re going to be happy to see you there! You’re welcome at training any time you want, too’.
The nurse popped her head around the door. ‘Oh, he’s awake?! It’s about time!’ She took Strauchanie’s obs and looked around the room. ‘It’s lovely of you boys to come and visit him, but he needs his rest now’ she said. ‘Visiting hours are almost up, anyway’.
‘We’ll see you later, Strauchanie’ his old team mates said, as they left the room. ‘Welcome back to Collingwood!’

*****

‘What’s your name?’ Sharon asked the boy. ‘You look vaguely familiar’.
‘That’s because I was on TV last year’ said the boy. ‘I’m Ben McKenzie, from Australian Idol’.
‘Ah, that’s where I’ve seen you’ Sharon laughed. ‘Hey Taylah, we got us an Idol after all! You should be happy’.
Em entered the room, holding her back and wincing. ‘Why didn’t anyone tell me about the backaches you get when you’re pregnant?’ She caught sight of Ben. ‘What’s he doing here?’
‘He’s our vessel’ said Taylah, proudly.
‘Him? He’s a bit weedy, isn’t he?’ Em asked, raising an eyebrow.
‘Gee, thanks’ said Ben, looking at her. ‘Least I’m not the size of a cow’
‘I’m pregnant, you nimrod’ said Em. ‘Where’s Melissa?’
‘She’s getting into something a little more comfortable’ said Sharon. ‘Ben’s got some wild oats to sow’.
‘You mean, you guys are all going to be pregnant with me?’ Em asked, excitedly. ‘This is going to be great!’
‘In case you didn’t notice, I’m pregnant already’ Taylah said, indignantly. ‘Why do people keep forgetting that?’
‘Because you’re so fat it’s hard to tell’ Sharon replied.
‘Thanks, bi-atch’ Taylah said, sulking.
‘I hope that means I don’t have to sleep with her’ Ben shuddered. ‘That’d be enough to put me off women for, like, ever’.
Taylah pouted and made as if to leave the room, muttering under her breath. ‘I’m going away for a while’ she said as she reached the door. ‘And when I come back, you’re all going to be sorry you teased me about my weight!’
Melissa passed Taylah on her way out. ‘What’s up with her?’ she asked the others.
‘Oh, Ben said he doesn’t want to sleep with her’ Sharon told her.
‘Ben’ll do whatever he’s told’ Melissa said. ‘Speaking of which, girls… We’d like some privacy’. She put an arm around Ben. She was dressed in a short lilac negligee.
‘Bye-bye’ she grinned giving the others a cheeky little wave. Ben looked like all his Christmases had come at once! Em and Sharon left them to their own devices. ‘I think I’ll call Nathan and ask him over’ Em grinned. ‘Those two have put me in the mood. When I’m finished with him, he’ll be rooted for the next week’.
‘Half your luck’ said Sharon. ‘I’ve got nobody. Melissa will be busy with Ben tonight. What am I going to do?’
‘Hey, I heard Strauchanie’s back in black and white’ Em said. ‘Why don’t you go and visit him in hospital?’
‘He’ll never get back with me after how I treated him’ said Sharon, sadly. ‘I was a real bitch’.
‘You never know until you try’ Em said. ‘Visiting hours will be over, but you could sneak in. Surprise him’.
Sharon sighed. ‘I don’t know…’
‘Do you still love him?’ Em asked.
‘Of course I do. I never stopped’ said Sharon.
‘Well… what are you waiting for?’ asked Em.
‘Okay’ Sharon decided. ‘What have I got to lose, except my self respect? And I lost that back when I dumped him, in the first place’.
‘You go, girl’ said Em.

Will the Lexus Centre be crawling with babies by the end of the season?
Will Strauchanie forgive Sharon?
And have the Bitches of Eastwick created a monster?!

***************************************************