The Nicksters: Cam

The Chronicles Of Cam: Tim Lane

Tim Lane

Once upon a time in a far away land there lived a nation of people who laughed very regularly. The king of the land was a self-made man, a battler, which was very unusual for any kingdom. The king had replaced one of noble birth in a swirl of controversy and had turned the nation of regular criers to one of laughing rejoicers in a little over 3 years.

A key part of the kings success was his honesty, passion and his wizard, Maltshazar. Maltshazar had helped turn the king's army from a laughing stock to a dedicated, fervent bunch who would die for the king and Maltshazar his wizard.

Apart from the odd scandal in the land, from one of the king's advisers getting involved in washing someones money bags to one of the kings soldiers allegedly polishing his sword in a marketplace (swords are meant to be polished at home, and not for too long as there are supposed side-effects like a limp, damage to a soldiers eyes from the shine on the sword and even cases of dementia), things were always on the improve.

The king decided to not just be a pompous sort, but to show the everyday people that rulers can work as well. So he returned to work sweeping gutters, picking through bins and filling in as a town crier from time to time. (Some would even say that the king worked too hard, especially for a king!) The king loved giving away money as well, some to the rich, some to the poor. He didn't mind feeding the stray dogs he met in the street either. And he did all this in his kings robes, so that the people never forgot where the king came from, and that he had mercy for the poor. He even threw a big, sorry-looking, navy blue, bully-dog a bone when it lost its home, even though it didn't deserve it. But it was a dog after all, so he relented.

One day an accountant from a foreign land came to him and asked if he could have a go at holding the kings sceptre. The kings said "Fine". The accountant did. Then he asked "Could I sit on your throne?" and the king said "Why not!". And the accountant did. Then he said "May I have a bag of gold that contains the amount you receive for being the town crier, holding the sceptre and sitting on the throne?" Again the king spoke, "I am a sharing king, you are a highly regarded money-counter in this realm, you are welcome to what you ask for my lord." The king said to his own money-counters "Please go and get what the accountant has asked for, quickly!' and off the money-counters ran. The accountant spoke again, "One more thing your worship -" "Yes?" answered the king, "Can you leave me alone in your castle one day per week?"

"Piss off Tim" said King Ed.