Laugh at Carlscum thread

[think positive]

Purrrfect! Thanks Jezza!

I’d love a pic of Cripps as the smirk gets wiped from his ugly mug!

[Presti35]

Only twice in history have players missed a shot at goal after the siren to win or draw against Collingwood.

Carlton in 1984 (Warren Ralph)
Carlton in 2024 (Mitch McGovern)

[Clifton Hill-Billy]

I really hope my weekend improves in 3 hours and there is some juicy reading from tanking Carlscum and Big Footy

[Donny]

Standby for the delude.

[Jezza]

Live ladder has them in 9th.

[Jezza]

TankingCarlton and BigFooty posts will be coming later this afternoon and evening.

I’m currently out at the moment

[qldmagpie67]

Jezza the wait will be sweet
I’m filled with anticipation
Seriously there could be a suicide watch tonight in Carlton
Anyone want to wager they start crying about injuries ?

[Jezza]

TankingCarlton...

After three seasons of promise back to 9th-15th ranking

Thanks for nothing Voss

What's the point of even making finals, we aren't gonna do anything.

Absolute RABBLE!

So in 3 years since we sacked a coach for not making the 8 we have missed the 8, made a PF but only after we turned around a disaster, and sit barely in the 8 due to Mac Andrew. This era is heading for a waste.

See yas next year

This is like watching us under David Teague.

To make matters worse, we are locked into this putrid list and the horrible contracts. Carlton won't change. There's no flag coming this century.

What an absolute joke of a club

Club is fortunate it has a massive fan base

It has no right for such support considering the dross we produce year in year out

This list peaked last year

Club hasn’t got a clue about building for sustained success in the AFL era

Is this yet another classic Carlton “no confidence in the coach” assassination game?

Usually we save that for a holiday on the Gold Coast to get spanked by the Suns…

This game was about showing why they should be playing finals.

All they have done is shown why they shouldn't

What are we watching? A complete embarrassment for the occasion and the jumper.

Probably better off not limping into the finals.

Looking like a wasted year.

Still another 30 years in the wilderness ahead.

FFS

It seems last half of last year and first half of this year was an aberration

This team is all talk. Talk talk talk talk. Watch tape, taken on learnings. Stronger together. They are taking the absolute p$%%. I want out season to be over now. Cant take much more of this.

Everyone was getting excited. But you could see this coming. We are weak minded. We have too many passenger. We dont have the key position depth. We go and recruit bits and pieces with no conviction.

We are done. I am convinced i wont see this team be successful in my lifetime again.

Such a poorly coached team... no confidence in the system (do we have one?) whatsoever...

At least I can book my September holidays now

A Sam Mitchell connected Hawthorn continues to make us eat shit and has done so for the best part of 20 years - he laughs every time he hears the word Carlton - I’d love to once wipe the snarmy shit eating grin off his face - but he makes us eat shit every single time we okay Hawthorn.

See ya next year, folks

We are in tears every week with this team. It’s the norm now.

I'm only 47. We've [REDACTED] this rebuild like every one before it. The club is cursed

Spare a thought for those of us who will be there next week when West Coast thrash us.

FMD.

Voss is tactical clueless same stuff every week
So much for he’s speech few weeks ago when he came out and said VFL form will reward

Goodbye 2024.

And goodbye to this window.

It’s done.

Obviously there was a chance we’d lose today, but I didn’t think the margin would be significant enough for us to be knocked out of the eight.

Don’t think I’ll be watching much footy in September.

Embarrassing

Just clueless at every level

West Coast will go into next week’s game as favourites..

Who cares.

I’m honestly ready to dissociate from footy. This club far more negative impacts on my life than it does positive. My life would be far better off having no interest in footy. Learning to just not really give a @#$%&! and focus on other things in life

They barely care. Voss will be joining Russell the way things are going. Under pressure he is lost. We will now likely miss the 8 2 years out of 3, the very reason we sacked Teague. Then, with his MC, continues to select, unfit, out of form players that Russell has physically destroyed.

Spare a thought for those of us who will be there next week

FMD

a roaring shitshow.

i've been down for so long about this club. it was always plausible this kind of meltdown (missing the was coming. i think like many here, i need to tailback how much i support this clusterfck of a club, and be much more casual.

Remember when we were talking premierships?

LOL

At least next year we'd be in the wildcard spot

@#$%&! you Andrew Russell you cauliflower. You personally have cost plus our season. Blokes just getting multiple hammys. Now @#$%&! off.....now!

This would be funny if it wasn't so sad.

I hope we don't sack the coach again, it's not going to solve anything. The players look shot.

Let's see how Vossy goes with a, hopefully, fitter list.

If that doesn't work after a couple of years, then you can bring a new coach in, gut the list and start again.

Vossy biggest loss

It will be one, new side next week. Knowing Voosy, he'll still select these blokes with their hamstrings off the bone. ..lol.

This never ending rebuild has been an unmitigated disaster

Apart from two flukey finals victories, I have had little faith it would lead to a premiership

With not many prospects in the two’s and Tasmania coming onboard, we are in for a world of hurt

With injury prone players being delisted, I am afraid it is back to the drawing board

Let’s hope Weitering signs with the club as that will put even more pressure on our dwindling fortunes

2 goals 5 since quarter time

Putrid

The last time I recall us getting this many injuries in one game was the final round in 1997 against Richmond, at princes Park

Perfect storm of crapness.

It really couldn't have gone much worse could it?

Thrashed, out of the top 8, half the side injured.

Permission to be completely irrational and petulant? Bath tub is full, k kids are still young enough even with my bad back.

5 years out of the last 6 we have utterly capitulated I the last part of the season. Each one of those years we have been crippled by injury. Each one of those years Russell has been there.

Even in 2020/21we were a chance at making the 8 five games out and capitulated. 2022 capitulated and lost our last 4, this year, 2nd premiership favourites, or close to, capitulated and lost 5 from the last 6.

At least, finally, we will be forced to play Binns, Lord, etc, rather than picking half fit, out of form players. We might actually find something we could have used week ago.

Hope we don't use injuries as an excuse... they only exacerbated the final margin

This club has been on a downhill capitulation for nearly 2 months now... and no one has any answers

Hawks above us now and won't lose another game... a wasted season

Goodness me….

I’m sorry Carlton Football Club…i stopped watching
you play about 10 minutes into the 3rd…!

would’ve loved to have watched that beautiful
jumper for a bit longer…but hey…it hurt…!

Signs of the boys turning on each other. Gov who got his teammates support last week when he bottled it decides to set the tone early.
Coaching staff completely got the game plan wrong.
High press from the first bounce went tits up and stayed that way all match. They scored a squillion points from their D50.
Injuries just the icing on the cake for a pretty horrid 5 or 6 weeks of footy. We are cooked

just fantastic to see the big spud pittonet belly laughing with siccilly after the final siren.

martin lasted 9 minutes with a hammy. fogerty 15, boyd injured not long after.

mcgovern was in the rooms for his regular 15 minute nap he gets every damned game. charlie playing on a cooked ankle completely deep fries it. saad another hammy.

and yet, that's not the worst of it. how are we as a team so profoundly slow? who allowed that to happen? how are the hawks so damned fast. each to a man, they outraced us and outran us even before the injuries.

we are jogging into a top ten draft pick, both literally and figuratively.

i'd love to see the back of voss. should have happened last year, but injuries forced him to play smaller and faster and with dash. 2 flukey finals wins and all of a sudden we've given him another 2 years.

at least NFL is on soon.

How embarrassing. The entire organisation from top to bottom should hang its head in shame. From 2 games clear in 2nd place on the ladder in Round 16 to missing finals (and let’s face facts, we will). And this is what we dish up when we’re celebrating our 160th year with all our former premiership legends in attendance?! What the hell has happened?! This is an unmitigated disaster that even an entire month at “Camp Curnow” couldn’t fix. Mentally shot, physically shot, rudderless coaching, zero leadership and bereft of any desire whatsoever. See you in 2025 for yet another false dawn, full of talk talk talk but zero walk.

All Those Injuries are due to two things:

1- Poor Recruiting of Injury prone players who will breakdown regardless of how you look after them

2- The Hard Surface at Ikon Park. ( I have written to the club so many times and given them examples and even taken samples of the Ground to show them that it is not suitable for Training at all. The Grass needs replacement. It is so hard to run on and keeps contributing to our soft injuries.

Weiters looks fat.

Recruitment and fitness.
Charlie ankle injury before the game no one to replace him.
Martin hammies and calf all year
Cunningham can't get on the park
Marchbank can't get on the park
Saad 2nd hammy for the year
Cerra 3 hammies in on year
Gov always spending time in rooms
Motlop missed most of the year
We draft a kid Carroll hasn't played all year
Moir miles off it
Lemmey miles off it
Akuei miles off it
TDK beaten into submission
Williams always injured
Mikov miles off it
Duffy Doc and JSOS all out for the year
Orazio another wasted list spot
Jack Carroll miles off it
Cotrell most of the year out

The list goes on we keep drafting and trading players who have been injury prone before we get them.

We have no players capable of being swung around the ground except Kennedy.

Then we have the Chicken littles in the Holland boys and Young

We keep naming Kennedy and Hewett as subs

We will not make the 8 and go into next year with zero coming through

We used 49 of 75 rotations today flogging the players left on the park

I said when we were 11 and 4 we would miss the 8 like 2022.

Embarrassing performance.

At least we've quietly decided to sort out #2 while giving Russell the arse. So regardless of which clown has the biggest shoes, hopefully that circus ends soon.

On recruitment... farrrkkkk. Delist every out-of-contract player, listen to trade offers for everyone with currency, start again with ATHLETES - that is the non-negotiable, aside from that you need one of either mongrel or foot skills (obviously both are preferable, but life ain't perfect). Read the writing on the wall from the AFL, they want a fast game, they're afraid of too many big hits, so blokes like Crippa are yesterday's player. Get creative, maybe scout the US college system for wide receivers and running backs who aren't quite good enough for NFL. I dunno. @#$%&! it, we've been nowhere near it for 30 years, the current crop has no chance, may as well set the sights at 2035-2040.

You can have your not so bad thrashings, but that was a horrendous thrashing. Other than maybe the last part of the first quarter never looked like it.

Looked slow, sloppy, hesitant, couldn't hold feet. Dare I say it, needed some hungry Bartlett out there today

We survived the colon loss a couple of years back so we will survive this, but gee whiz

The Hawthorn recruiting mantra forever and a day is pick players who can run and are elite kicks. They're not interested in anything else and they've gone sailing past us yet again. Their rebuild has taken 4 years. Ours took 8 years and lasted 1 year, if you believe it arrived... there might be something in their method. We are a stupid club

It would be nice to have more than a year of not being embarrassed to support this club.

Drowning my sorrows now... one bottle of Boags and a huge bowl of wasabi peas. How did I get so hooked on these things? They shouldn't work, but oh my god.

What a disgusting, effortless and embarrassing display it was.

There's an entire generation who know Carlton as "that shit team".

Bitterly disappointed in our drop off.
Seven weeks ago we were going to win the flag
Season is all about momentum confidence and injuries
Hawthorn play a brand that was always going to expose us. @#$%&! I don’t even know who half of their no-name players are
Going to Ireland for 2 weeks at the end of this week (wife’s family) and was worried I’d miss the last two games. Not any more. Don’t even flower like Guinness. If any of those cauliflower says to me how much they love Zac Touhy I think I’ll spew up
@#$%&! @#$%&! @#$%&!

Charlie should never have played this week

[Jezza]

BigFooty (Carlton)...

Can you imagine, your whole bloodline following the Hawks, reminding you that they’ve won 4 premierships since my birth to our 0, went through a rebuild and have overtaken us again in the same time?

What a miserable day. Miserable.

I’ve been biting my tongue for a couple weeks now thinking just one win will make it all click, oh how foolish I was/am.

I honestly, genuinely, from the bottom of my heart think this club is about to implode from within, we may need to make some drastic changes come years end.

I’d get rid of Vossy, think he’s respectfully inept compared to a majority of the other coaches in the league. but that won’t happen, I don’t think.

Raygun has more talent then what we showed today

Let the records show, we were shit before the injuries

Team desperately needs a restructuring:

1. Move away from the slow, contested list make-up and more towards pace and durability

2. Clean out basically all the assistant coaches

and that’s just a start

5.8 GGF

Vale Season 2024.

Worst day since the game against Essendon were Bolton got sacked.

Absolutely depressing.

No positives at all, and our season is done.

Appalling mismanagement of injured and perennially injured players has derailed this season.

And?

hope the club enjoys having 50-75k members next year instead of 100k+

To the draft/list management thread, boys…

Crippa should have asked for a trade years ago. Pissing away his career at our club.

Poor bastard gives he's all. Deserves a premiership or two around his neck. Doubt he's going to see one af Carlton.

Real low right now.

I was mocked when I said we wouldn't make finals. Looking like a reality now. Don't think we win another game from here.

One good year, back to the bottom another decade or forever.

I don't care anymore.

We looked like the best team in it half way through the season. Now we look like the worst. Wtf happened?

No wonder I drink.

Haven’t left a game early in my life.

Not proud of it but did today. Pathetic effort. I can cop shit - I’m 29 and have seen nothing but shit following the Blues my entire life.

What I can’t cop is that pathetic half arsed effort. Injuries aside, that is the worst performance I have witnessed live - maybe because of the expectation and the fact that this team is nowhere near as poor as what they showed today. They just never wanted it

There is something seriously seriously wrong with our footy club.

I'm 30 and I've seen two flags!

Insipid performance, same old story, no spread from contest, no plan but bomb down the line from defence. Key defenders 15m off their man even though our mids are getting slaughtered. Amateur club.

A comedy will be playing soon, Voss’ presser.

Time for some nourishment

Didn't cook publicly state that it would be a disaster if we missed finals earlier in the year? It's as bad as could possibly be. At least now we can blood some kids

Absolutely annihilated on the field and in the coaches box. Voss needs to get off the bench and back into the box. In reality he should be sacked but no chance Sayers does that.

Embarrassing, pathetic, disgusting, gutless. There's just so many adjectives you could use. We are completely shite.

Urgh how to finish the year with a bang !

Continued our ineptness early, then had injuries seal the deal. Not that I could say we would have won otherwise.
This was supposed to be the easy part of the draw. Arguably a worse fall than Essendon.

Gutted

Unfortunately Cook signed off on Voss’s extension early this year, that doesn’t happen to inspire my trust!
There was no need to do it & look at us now

To go from a potential top two team to that rabble we've just seen is a shocking collapse in form.

Our list has issues, we have injury prone players etc, but Vossy won't survive another poor year in 2025.

I do have every trust in Brian Cook's ability to make the right calls at the end of the year. Of course we might still make the finals, but we'll only be making up the numbers.

Last year was a flash in the pan sadly. We still have a fair bit of work to do, before we're ready to win a flag imo.

Ah back to having our hearts crushed. Must’ve skipped the anger stage, because it’s straight to sadness.

Going to go and listen to some music to sooth the soul, got nothing to add.

So we’ve lost:
Martin
Fogarty
Curnow
Saad

For the rest of the season

And most likely Boyd for that period to

We probably don’t win the next two, season gone

What’s Cook doing to earn his money. Best in the business some know it alls keep saying. Probably the same people who said Russell was the best in the business. Coaching inept, list management clueless, shit flows down hill.

Cook did a review into our high performance department last year and ticked that off too.

This clubs ****ed

For all the issues that will rightly be discussed the Lack of Effort is really concerning

We are Essington!

That was disappointing.

Time for the club to roll the dice - window will be closing, so grab a broom and sort it out.

The most gutless display of sh1tful football I have ever seen a Carlton side ever dish up.
They really showed what a soft bunch of downhill skiers they really are.

Looks like I won’t be going next week now . I don’t think I could stand watching eagles belt us and having to leave the game early infront of the eagles crowd . How embarrassing would that be . Maybe next week they can send the aflw side over to play eagles . Least they would put in a gutsy effort.

Well it was good while it lasted crew. Back to footy irrelevancy for us. Perhaps 2053 we might be able crawl back into semi ? Who knows ! Exciting times to come !!

Nearly 85 thousand fans part of our 160 year anniversary day and the players dish up that rubbish. They should be embarrassed.

I’ve been through the good times and now been through the bad times and as frustrated and angry as I’ve been over that period, I’ve never been so disappointed and embarrased by my club. That was truly on another level.

Let's have some Vossy bingo for the presser. I nominate the following items of NuSpeak:

Process
Journey
Values
Brand
Moments
Play our way
Identity

Absolute disaster lucky I had something else on.

We need a mini rebuild.

Team is slow and not skilful enough. If it’s not on our terms and if our top 5 players aren’t playing out of our skins we’ve got nothing.

So we finished with more injuries than goals … that must be some sort of record

I said this morning top 4 was gone... didn't expect to shit the bed that badly

Calling it now.

Eagles will beat us and do it in a canter.

Two finals wins last year.

That’s all this rebuild is going to amount to.

This is as low as low gets.

This club is not going to contend for a long time.

One of the worst, if not, the worst performance since the Teague era.
Really felt I travelled back in time today. Injuries aside, it was disgraceful.
Witches hats indeed. We need to make some very big calls on and off field in the off season imo. Really demoralising.

In saying that, it’s funny how we can still make the 8. But I don’t want to make it if that’s what we are to dish up. No thanks.

My son was Born a Blue in 2004. Is as diehard as they come despite our modern history. As a loving parent that cares about his well being, I wish he supported a different club. Breaks my heart but I truly do.

That’s an indictment on the whole joint. They don’t deserve him. Or us.

When did this ****en rebuild start?

2016? What a ****en joke.

2022 & 2024.....when Carlton shit the bed good and proper.

Gutted.

I'd play the whole vfl side least they would play with a bit of heart, we don't deserve to play finals after the last few weeks

I’m not going to say to much about that loss.
Just absolutely gutted!

Stop wasting your weekends on this bunch of frauds. Voss sayers etc. Piss off.

I guess it was greedy of me to actually be proud to support the club for more than a year at a time. Absolutely disgraceful.

What a horror show, didn’t have the courage to watch after halftime.

There can be no excuses, this is an indictment on the coach, on the players, on the culture. Players like Walsh have actually become zero footballers. I swear I even forget he plays for our team.

Whatever has happened since quarter time against GWS is something inexplicable. But having said that, there is one area that we have been absolutely horrific in all year and in a manner that is inexplicable is our ball movement.

It is impossible that we have zero system. It relies purely on Cripps or TDK winning the ball and to break a line to get the ball clear. We have zero clearance method. We have no idea how to get a pattern going for the quick one, two, three overlap and run. We are appealing trying to move the ball out of our defence. We have zero, absolutely zero patterns in moving the ball down the ground. Relies on individual brilliance for it to happen.

We are appalling creating patterns inside 50.

Was an article a few weeks ago in how does a team with so many top line players play such a primitive brand of footy, contest or bust

To be honest the best thing for us is to miss the 8.

Not even angry on this one.

Sad. Disappointed. Disillusioned.

There are days where I rue the fact that I ever became a Blues supporter. Today's one of them.

2022 we lose the last 6 to miss the finals after being in the 8 the entire season.

2023 we win 4 of the first 13 games

2024, we lose 5 out of the last 6 to sit out of the 8, after being a game and a half clear two thirds through the year.

This is a recurring trend, the coach has some explaining to do

The players need to come out and apologise to the supporters and the coaches should hand in their resignations immediately.
That performance is unacceptable. No more excuses should be tolerated from anyone in charge of our club.
Embarrassing and no wonder we have little respect from the AFL world.

29 years as a member. I’m in Tas so I don’t pay the big bucks like a lot of people, but I also would be lucky to make it to one game very two years.

So my membership is purely because I want to be part of this great club. I’ve dragged my wife and kids into it and no doubt we’ll all sign up again next year but I think this is the most disappointed I can remember feeling.

Just shattered. I’ve worked very hard on myself to not let the negativity football affect my real world too much over the past few years. These past 6 weeks have completely broken that.

Just when we thinks things are going well, they suddenly aren’t. I enjoy coming here and reading everyone’s thoughts as it helps me to know I’m not alone with these feelings.

I know there’s going to be questions on Voss as coach, but we have to stick with him don’t we? We can’t put Crippa through another coach sacking. Just don’t know how to move passed this right now.

This as bad as any loss under pagan, Malthouse, bolton during the dark ages. Hard to see Voss get the playing group back.

We did a Raygun

The season is done...peaked early...I guarantee we won't win the next 2 games....games 6 weeks ago we had penciled in

Injuries will be a convenient excuse for these boys but make no mistake. That was one of the most embarrassing, insipid performance's I've ever witnessed.

With everything on the line today and over the last few weeks, to go so meekly into the night ...... I don't like using the C word but we've been borderline cowardly.

Tell me I'm overreacting.... Maybe I just need a lie down

Voss and cripps presser... they know we're gone. No answers .

Only 19 tackles in the first half suggests a lack of intensity.

if I ran my business the way
Carlton football club runs there business I’d be broke
My clients would kick me to the kerb

If we hadn’t played the bottom 2 teams 4 times we wouldn’t even be talking about the possibility of finals

It’s astonishing really. Since beating Geelong 8 weeks ago and being widely touted as a flag contender we’ve lost 5 of 7 games and the only 2 wins we’ve had were against Richmond and North. Even then the win against North was unconvincing.

Absolutely 100% shit the bed this season like I have never seen before. Todays game was the shit coloured cherry on top. The worst loss we’ve had under Voss IMHO. One team showed up with the mindset of wanting to play finals and the other turned up looking like they’re going through the motions looking forward to an end of season trip.

Frustrated for all supporters, after all the hard years this wasn’t what we expected.

This morning I was mocked for saying top 4 done after today season is done. We'll drop another one if not both...bookmark it

Pretty cool that Carlton was a great club for some of the old timers but Carlton has been pathetic for a very long time

[think positive]

Thanks Jezza, makes my heart sing! Xxx

[Pies4shaw]

Thanks, as always, Jezza.

Trivia question - Which teams that existed when Carlton last won a premiership have won a premiership less recently than Carlton and, like Carlton, have not played in a Grand Final this century?

[David]

Fitzroy?

[Pies4shaw]

Fitzroy?

Well, yes - but I was thinking of current teams, David.

[Big T]

That would be no team to my knowledge!

[Pies4shaw]

^100% correct, Big T.

"Carlton - In a special class all of their own since 1995".