Laugh at Carlscum thread

[mightypies90]

Carlton seriously just making up the numbers.

[Jezza]

Carlton can at least say they're not at 1903 levels

[Arch@M32]

Can I delete my last comment? I think I pushed the gods too far.

[Jezza]

Half Time edition:

TankingCarlton...

Common baggers - this is what we have been waiting for. Just do it.

voss literally just said tdk is sub bcos they didn't want him playing a full game.

we're so dumb.

We’re so screwed…

No expectation. No one thinks we can win. We're self sabotaging. Why not? Go boys

Expecting nothing. Nothing to lose. Plenty to gain

We have no plan to score goals. Awful start.

We're spending a lot of time on 0.0.0.

We have no system going forward.

Voss has had 3 years to implement something.

@#$%&! this. I'm hitting the sauce.

Peaked in 2023.

Why do I bother with this club.

This could already be over.

Let’s be honest this was inevitable. Over the past two months we’ve pretty much been a bottom 4 team.

@#$%&! off.

Is Walsh playing?

Time for a 'Voss with a wtf do I do look' camera shot...

I'm not even watching the TV any more. Just going to post my hatred for 2 hours. Sorry in advance.

I've already walked out of Naughtons and on my way home! I'm not wasting another 3 hours of my life onthis shit.

Absolute @#$%&! joke. Voss can GAGF I’m done

@#$%&! Fremantle. This pain should've ended 2 weeks ago

Thank you Freo for prolonging their pain

Gonna embarrass the @#$%&! out of ourselves

Unraveling

I’ll call this now. Voss is not the man to take us forward.

Although, he didn’t build this average list.

Back to the drawing board.

WORST PERFORMANCE IN THIRTY YEARS

no run, slow play, no spread, long bombs and pray.

that's the amount of our strategy and planning here from the brains trust.

The whole strategy appears to have been pick Docherty and get all warm, fuzzy and excited.

Their is zero tactical or strategic thought in any of our play.

I’m done. Gonna go enjoy my Saturday night knowing the season is finally over

How long has it been since we scored nothing in a qtr.

Another intercept mark to Andrews while TDK sits in the sub vest.

Just moronic.....WTF are they thinking?

How much score has been generated for the Lions from turnover/intercept marks?

Just staggeringly moronic.

Record breakers... first side to have scoreless first qusrter in a final for 50 years. Brilliant

Congratulations!

Look at the coaches.

All baffled.

And now bring up a 50 year record....how embarrassment.

50 years since a side was scoreless in an elimination final.

Thank you commentators.

WORST PERFORMANCE BY ANY TEAM IN FINALS OPENING QUARTER IN 50 YEARS

THANKS FOR NOTHING VOSS - YOU TOSS

Thank god I can't watch this, this is going worse than I thought it would.

Dropping the kids and bringing in half fit, underdone experienced players; a master stroke.

In Voss the toss we trust. Haha
Chased a guy with a knife. Shows his sense of judgement

We are in the wilderness

I knew this list would get us nowhere. Luckily we did win two flukey finals

Should have conducted a mini rebuild a few years ago

It’s too unbalanced with too much reliance on our best players

Add an average coach to this mess and we are going nowhere

Logging out before i say something bad

Rabble.

Can they play the Benny hill music if we kick a point

We might not score all game...

Maybe a 150 to 0 result is what we need…

This club is honestly so @#$%&! up it’s own arse I don’t know where to begin.

That said, we won’t learn shit.

Coach killer

Kennedy subbed

Coaching staff you are a disgrace.

Just shows how far away from winning a flag we are
Voss and the MC are clueless

Hahahaha

Tactical sub

For a ruckman

Midway through the second quarter.

Wow.

Kennedy subbed off... are we @#$%&! fair dinkum???

This is the night I've lost all faith in Voss. cauliflower is out of his depth. Has no @#$%&! clue

They are actually laughing at us.

Can't even manage a single flower point???

FFS

worst performance of the year and it's not even close. maybe worst performance of voss's tenure?

WOW... I'm literally shattered... for this once great club

People keep talking about Voss’s humility.

He’s an utterly arrogant cauliflower.

I’m seriously done with this lot.

I’m done. I’ll turn it back on in about an hour just to hear the biggest ever Bronx cheer if we hit the scoreboard (most likely a rushed behind).

I'm just numb....I wasn't expecting much before this match but we've all come so used to it....the Hawthorn game was a glimpse.

The list isn't [REDACTED] but the MC are not getting the best out of what is available.....but they are not even doing the @#$%&! basics.

Imagine starting TDK as sub!

I will Never be less excited by a Carlton goal - if one actually comes - than the first one tonight

Seriously, WTF, WTF,WTF,WTF, WTF is going on

Dark night for this club

Sums up our putrid last 2 decades

The “66” game rebuild which has yet to result in anything after 9 years is officially dead

Let’s go back to the draft and start again

Change in coach may also be required

Seriously.. can a coach and a CLUB recover from this kind of disaster.

I’m done
We were not going far anyway but
Terrible dumb selections
To start DeKoning as the sub then sub off Kennedy who is not injured is [REDACTED]
Voss has lost the plot tonight
You get what you deserve

What a @#$%&! utter waste of a season this has become.

Sitting 2nd, we @#$%&! around with selection, play blokes half fit and out of form, no young blokes, lose all form, our fitness blokes kills our side, we play young blokes, do really well, come finals we drop them all to bring back half fit, underdone and out of form big names.

We were in it up to our necks and between a coach/MC and a fitness bloke we have [REDACTED] a season like no other.

Only positive is that it exposes all and sundry. Miles and miles off it.

Insipid and embarrassing. Feel bad for those that went. I legitimately would ask the club for all my money back.

Took a Brisbane player to drop an uncontested mark to get us a goal

Cripps should ask for a trade at 3/4 time to a real club

Harry is such a nothingburger.

Trade.

We are embarrassing. Embarrassing the club, us members, themselves and the supporters.

Fancy performing like this in a final.

If I see Cerra laugh again, i will smash something.

Our selection has been bad this year. Fancy making TDK a sub. Then subbing out Kennedy instead of say Durdin and plenty of others.

McKay is embarrassing. Seriously he is so mentally weak. He doesnt have the DNA to be successful.

I am so over us. We had a fit Cincotta, Binns, Lord to play. And we put in so many underdone players.

Voss is arrogant and i fear for our club right now.

we just made an elim final and delivered 163 pressure rating for a half.

[stoliboy]

Half Time edition:

Is this the first time you have done a Half Time edition Jezza!

[Jezza]

^ First time

[stoliboy]

The game isn’t even over and the TV is displaying the details for the GWS vs Brisbane game lol

[Jezza]

Adios Carlton. Congratulations on reaching a 30-year flag drought

[stoliboy]

Carlton the first team to be scoreless at quarter time in a final since 1974

[Jezza]

TankingCarlton...

Too little too late

Not good enough anyway

It doesn’t matter but at least there was some run in that quarter

Brisbane will coast home now

Christ I'm drunk and it still hurts.

Absolutely WASTED season

we're not a very good team and we're coached horribly. worst defensive team in the afl, and the slowest.

other than that, we're in pole position for 2025.

WASTED WASTED SEASON

VOSS IS AS USELESS AS AN EMPTY SCROTUM

Smart move by Voss to go up to the coaches box as it wouldn’t be safe for him walking off the ground.

I hate being a Carlton supporter

that sucked more than i could have imagined when the team came out on thursday

I really hope Cincotta doesn’t walk.

How @#$%&! dumb is our match committee?

Cincotta is the greatest win of the last couple of years in terms of recruitment and we drop him for our final.

My assumption is that he was like for like with Doc.

And I love Doc the person but he was never going to do what we needed.

What does that tell our list?

We have favourites?

@#$%&! off Voss.

Always going to struggle to win that.

But you've got to give yourself the best chance with team selection and sub selection.

Clearly moronic decisions made by the coaching staff.

There have to be big changes to the coaching group prior to next season.

60 - 0. Let that sink in. Nothing short of disgusting. Every player, coach and official should hang their @#$%&! heads in shame.

This season has been the most disappointing, more than in the shit years, as we were so well positioned to win the whole thing and it just exploded in our faces due to Russell and Voss/MC. Essentially, utter mismanagement in those areas. They should be ashamed and embarrassed.

Selection was bad.
But for me, that’s about 5 positions down the list of things we must fix.

season was lost after cats game. we smashed them and it was the best we looked in 2 decades. since then we've beaten only richmond, eagles and norf.

before the injuries derailed us, we started with the funky selections and then it all snowballed into this hell.

29 years.

Soon to be 30!

Total MC and coaching @#$%&! up... that turned into an embarrassment on the night

Lions coasted in the second half and allowed us to keep the margin 'respectable'... not going to applaud that

I said before the game our situation was either going to be a blessing or a disaster. Sadly for us all, it was an utter disaster.

Only positive is that it exposes and and sundry.

Significant change required in many areas of the footy dept. Otherwise we won’t see finals for a long time…..again.

i still feel something happened at the club internally half way through the season that turned us to puss, and something is not right within the four walls

on a slightly different note, there is a photo on social media of kennedy after being subbed off looking like he could kill. just highlights the selection debacle and the thoughts that voss continues to have favourites and no integrity

It is so obvious our list and game plan is not up to scratch. This thinking that we have the list to contend is off the mark.

There is simply not enough cohesion and run in our team. Both offensively and defensively. We rely too much on individual brilliance. This will never be sustainable.

Our transition play is so stagnant. Due to both a lack of leg speed and penetrating and accurate kicks. The lack of overlap run is a problem and is the major reason why we struggle to find space in the forward 50.

Ultimately, the issues lie with both coaching and recruiting. I can’t see Voss taking us to the promised land.

I actually think this failed rebuild is dead in the water. Time to regenerate.

Absolute joke.

@#$%&! I hate the Gabba.

See you next season to find out what new and fantastical ways this club can find to disappoint its supporters.

Close thread.

Brisbane haven't won any thing yet and they had 15 players 140 games plus with 7 200 game players.

We saw with Geelong dads army 2 years ago experience counts a lot.

Cripps is our only 200 game player.

I must have been the only Carlton Fan who was already looking forward to next year before tonight's Game, and I was always going to be right!

Reality is You can not bring back 7 players from injury into a final and expect to Win. Today's Pathetic effort in the 1st half must be blamed on the Coaching Staff and the Selection Panel. What on Earth were they thinking? I feel so bad for the kids who were just loving it and playing good football, only to be dumped because of the Club's ongoing Eggo and pride and no will to take risks.

Here is a list of all the Injured players who came back straight in:

1- Williams: Started the Game Rusty and stayed Rusty the entire Game. Was not ready for this

2- McGovern: Started the Game Rusty and stayed Rusty the entire Game. Was not ready for this

3- Cerra: Started the Game Rusty and stayed Rusty the entire Game. Was not ready for this

4- The Doc: Started the Game Rusty and stayed Rusty the entire Game. Was not ready for this ( Can't Blame him though )

5- Mckay: Started the Game Super Rusty and needed half a Game before he got going

6- TDK: Started as the Sub- had to be one of the Stupidest Moves of our entire Club History

That Sums it all up

After the Cats game I dared to dream. Then Voss started to flirt with our form with smart arse selections. Top that off with injuries, playing half fit players until they broke down, while kids with potential couldn't get a run.

A rubbish performance tonight when it mattered. Only beat Norf and West Coast in our last 9 rounds so what do we expect. Team selection was a complete and utter farce. Lot of soul searching required over pre season as we’ve just pissed away a season in our supposed window.

To Voss, MC , SC, etc etc
Forget the final margin tonight. Concentrate on that 0 - 60 farce in an Elimination Final. Had they kicked straight it would have been worse.
Not only an embarrassment for the players and coaches but also for us supporters (106,000 +) who pay big $$$ in membership.
Think hard guys, very hard ..... we're on par with the bottom 6 sides. Port Power have a lot to answer to for making us play finals. Pies or Freo would not have embarrassed themselves like that.
The team selection tonight had amateur hour written all over it.
One draft this year won't fix up all our problems but we better make correct decisions in who stays and who goes.
Yep .... tonight I'm p##sed off

What a waste.

I’m sad now….

what an embarrassing end to the season…!

I thought we hit them hard till their second goal…
but then something weird happened…!

Yup selection table mess hey…!

But then Kennedy off instead of Pitto…or Durdin even…
but not Kennedy…!

I was going to go on a rant…but I’m tired…sad…angry…
deflated…and Cee Kay said it all pretty well…!

[Jezza]

BigFooty (Carlton)...

Absolutely embarrassed. Flattered by the scoreboard. Need to clear out at least a third of the team.

Pittonet. Motlop. Durdin. Fantasia.

If anyone thinks any of these are a part of our next premiership, I’ve got a bridge to sell you.

60-0.

SIXTY TO NOTHING.

There is no place for positivity in this thread.

Embarassing.

Did somebody say KFC?

I don't care, I love it!

60-0 when it mattered

I actually don’t want to hear Vossy’s presser. I don’t want to hear his excuses.

That first half. Why????

Off Voss. Nearly off Carlton. Season was a mismanagement masterclass and mistakes no serious club would make when planning for the marathon that is the AFL season. Oh and the club's still full of shit with no substance.

As I've said. I'm 30. No reason this "great" club will resemble anything better than st Kilda in my lifetime. 1 distant premiership and a bunch of shit.

What has become of our great club...run by bloody monkeys

some players should never wear a carlton jumper ever again most can see it, will the club realise?

First half was an absolute embarrassment.

Brisbane didn’t even bother trying in the second half.

We are so far off being a contender it’s a joke.

For a full half there was no effort, no pressure and no intensity. Everything after that doesn't really matter.

Disappointing way to end a season which for large parts looked really promising.

Finally I can rant.

Coaching disaster class.

TDK should of never started as a SUB. Why the **** would you do that when we got an small FWD line already is.

Dropping Cinotta when he could of tagged, Zorko AA HB it is like the most obvious thing to do is let Cots sit on his face.

Like holy **** Voss and the coaching staff plan going into this.

Brisbane were actually just average.

Make George Hewett captain coach.

We’re coached by a brainless catchphrase generator.

Another decade in the wilderness.

Mentally weak. Physically inept.

60-0 was just an embarrassment....gotta be honest...glad the seasons over....another wasted year though .... Need a lot of changes for 2025

we saved one of our biggest mid-game naps for a final

Tease of a year
Last 2 months is where we are really at
Let's see how many ins Innes can muster for 25
Need a good psychologist at the club as well for the players and the supporters
unfortunately back to watching someone else chase a flag

The coach with a top 4 list he has mismanaged into the ground? who puts it on his stars to win the game refuses to rotate players and IS THE MAIN VOICE ON THE MC! That coach?!?

In case anyone has missed the trend.

We only become competitive when it’s desperate and we have to jettison his preferred game plan.

This team would not get close to Ratten 2010 team and that had a holes galore.

We are not Carlton. We are a shadow.

We messed this season up big time...

team is stacked with talent but we monumentally messed up this season

No optimism for 2025, which sucks

We got sucked into Corporate & picked moneybag players who were barely fit.

Not happy.

Though not unexpected.

We’ve got kids busting their arse for peanuts, dropped for this.

Get ready for the implosion.

There is no version of what transpired that doesn't squarely land on the heads of the coaches.

When they couldn't be allowed to muck it up in the squad selection, they did a hack job with the sub.

Genuine and heartfelt **** you to Voss and the other match committee members on board with this, you derailed our season by not staying in your lane, by ignoring the form and capabilities of your list, by not committing to the trends and logic of the modern game and modern sport, and you've fleeced the club of an enormous amount of football department spending in the process.

If you're feeling a bit of heat right now, it is absolutely justified. Stop wasting everyone's time and effort with such an arrogant and delusional display of coaching.

Another year, another final in Brisbane, and almost exactly the same story.

I find it absurd that ppl keep saying we need to stick with Voss because we can’t keep sacking coaches. Love boss but the guy clearly can’t coach. Couldn’t do it at port. Because we have failed with a few coaches doesn’t mean we need to stick with something that clearly isn’t working. Match selection was a joke. Doc love him but **** me… the guy hasn’t played since round 1. MC is picking favourites, would cop a loss playing you g guys giving an effort but doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result is the definition of insanity

Game plan - fail
Team selection- fail
Team mentality- fail

Yet another season flushed away by the competition’s laughingstock club.
They just rarely get anything right, they have no idea how to function seriously.
Not expecting much to change next season … especially the bottom line …

Season was an absolute failure.

Since June 30 we gave only beat North and West Coast.

Just don't see it with Voss, we seem to only bomb it long. Even when we win, we rarely dominate. Voss coached Brisbane, then was under Ken, now he's coaching us. Wish he had went to a few clubs to see some different ways.

Sad to be here, but I think if he isn't sacked soon, he will be at some point in 2025. Why waste another season, we now have a 70 odd game track record, he's not it

Another wasted season.

Yeah, Voss has taken us to two final series in a row, but who cares if we’re not there on the final Saturday of the year.

Tell me why Voss went and hid in the coaches box in the last 10 minutes .

It’s your mess champ have the mental strength to face it.

often you see teams get a jump on the opposition in the first quarter. The second quarter usually has the team regroup and chip away to get the game back on track. We were still getting pantsed for about 80% of the second quarter. Just unfathomable.

We embarrassed the jumper tonight. We are so away from a flag it’s not funny. Next year is decision time on the re build.

If we don’t offer Matt Owies a contract after giving Corey Durdin 3 years, I’ll microwave my membership

Owies the saviour

A botched elimination final after a botched season. All after sitting in 2nd place a couple of months ago. We didn't even get to blood one of Moir, Lord or Binns in a final.

So how much more does Voss have to run on his contract? Doubt he is taking us where we wan't to go. I am afraid we will be stuck as a 6th to 9th side and this list will be wasted.

God almighty....

Lucky we didn't face the young hawks tonight

They would have broken a new score record

60-0 is horrendous and players should get their right whack for the lack of effort.

But watching sides like Hawthorn and Geelong replenish their lists with young players - some of whom come off the scrap heap - and win, whereas Carlton look like they'd reanimate the corpse of Soapy Vallence for one last crack if they could, is what gets me.

Maybe the personnel is there or thereabouts (when healthy), but the method behind it is not.

Never in it. See ya next year

2 months ago we were **** of the walk 2nd.

Whatever we were doing right went horrendously wrong.

There were young guys who had their chance, made a mark, & were pushed aside.

They aren’t seat fillers.

Lotta money went down the toilet this year.

Crazy Vossy in full effect

Yeah, nah. That sucked more than the last couple of months (which also sucked).

No words.

See you next time.

Mick Malthouse may be a bitter old prick, but he was right about one thing - we're more museum than football club

Absolute waste of a season due to the incompetence of the off-field staff. Voss is a good figurehead but can’t coach for shit.

Embarrassingly poor selections tonight and for much of the last three years. He would fall on his sword if he had the integrity.

Voss presser digging his own grave..which is inevitable

against a good side in brisbane - wtf???

Really sad way to finish the year, to start like that in an elimination final was beyond disappointing, a game that should have been built up as do or die and we gave them a 60 point head start.

Really pissed off with Voss and the MC for constantly making garbage selection decisions all year and it continued tonight, everybody makes mistakes but if Voss keeps making them, then it seems he is either super stubborn or he doesnt think they’re mistakes.

Probably the most disappointing season for me in over 20 years

Winning behaviours?

This bloke talks shit.

He's copying Fly

Here’s what you need to know. Our last 3 wins of the season were against the bottom 3 sides.

Voss: players showed great fight and great spirit.

FFS

Voss:
"couldn't execute" (count: 4
happy with the 6 ins when asked about selections
"tried to manage tom's minutes a bit"
When asked if he wished he had him at the start he genuinely said "naah" committed to needing to keep mins low
What was the plan for zorko? "we didnt execute it, the plan was there" (REALLY?!?!?! was it fantasia or motlop the plan..?)
Now just waffling , just jargon and bs phrases now
"won't shy away" we had that on the bingo card
"we're clear on that" ugh
"winning behaviours"
"yeh wow. what a man" on doch ffs totally backing in the call to pick him. disgraceful. now spending 5 mins talking about doch to distract from everything else. terrible. oh back to doch
Back to catch phrases
"more chapters in this story"

not sure he ever actually says anything.

If we go into the off season believing that injuries was the reason we failed this year we will fail again next year.

Anyway I’m off to Adair’s tomorrow I’ve got some new bed linen to buy.

Tonight was complete rubbish but ultimately the season was over a month ago. You can’t implode like we did from 2nd on the ladder and then expect to magically turn things around for a finals series coming from 8th. Tonight was simply the exclamation mark on an awful end to the season.

The game was really a microcosm of the last two months. Bewildering team selection. Patchy effort from the players. Too many injured or undone players. Too many passengers leaving all the work to too few.

A lot to fix up over the off season and pre season.

Haven't seen presser but if he thinks 167 pressure first half is bringing the fight then heck off

Hindsight is always 20/20 but Kingsley would’ve been the perfect balance between alpha male and strategist for us this group

I said it in 2021. Good thing you appointed Voss instead

Our club when looking for the coach to replace Teague made several comments that we weren’t looking for a rookie coach, at the time I didn’t give it much thought, but now i find it really bad.

Imagine looking to fill a role and going in with a pre conceived idea that 3/4 of the applicants aren’t suitable and shouldn’t bother.

Did anyone consider this playing group is just not as good as we think it is. Last years PF was the outlier of a decade not even making finals, even though we managed to squeak in again this season. Our core group of players have been together for virtually a decade and don't look remotely close to a premiership. Something is amiss somewhere

The Voss (Kate Roffey style) press conference, really installs confidence for next year…

Of all the talk about Harry and Ben McKay being one person, I actually think that Blake Acres might be two people.

One of them is an AFL footballer.

The other is a 3rd division Diamond Valley League player.

Every now and then, just for shits and giggles, we swap the two.

Conspiracy theory started....

[BEAMER09]

Adios Carlton. Congratulations on reaching a 30-year flag drought

As I’ve said many times, they need to cheat to win a GF. No cheat No flag. Since they have stopped cheating, they have won 5 wooden spoons and they can probably host their own MasterChef show on Foxtel.

[Clifton Hill-Billy]

My favourite was when Voss was likened to a brainless catchphrase generator, apt

[think better]

My favourite was when Voss was likened to a brainless catchphrase generator, apt

The Voss is a useful as an empty scrotum was pretty good too!

This is just about my favourite thread.

[LaurieHolden]

@Jezza we need an update! This will get me through the off-season. The best thread on Nicks.

I was at the Gabbatoir last night. Pre-match at the pub the Blues supporters were there on mass. It took me back many a year, I felt uneasy.
The only part I didn't enjoy last night was when they scored in the first half. Watching that side bleed out live is one of football's great pleasures.