I honesty the best policy?

yadster#13 · Post by **yadster#13** » Mon Sep 08, 2008 5:10 pm

Ok so Im in a bit of a situation, wouldnt mind advice from the dudes on this one too!
So I have been with my lovely partner for 18 months now, when I first met him, he along with one other guy were the only single ones in the group. The other guys had been with the girl friends quite a while bar two. We started dating the same time pretty much, any way to cut a long story short, I know or a fact one of the guys who started dating his gal at same time, know longer wants to be with her. He told one of the other boys a while back, myself and my partner were told and didnt mention it. He has now told my partner on two occastions in the past two weeks that he wants to leave her. Now I feel guilty as I am quite good friends with his girlfriend, that I know this and that I;m not telling her. But I honestly dont think its my place to tell her. She can see its happening, he is treating her like shit, but she wont leave. Says its hard cos she loves him. I can imagine how hard it must be, but I couldnt imagine myself putting up with the shit she is at the moment.

So girls how do I help my friend
And guys am I doing the right thing by not telling her?

leonmagic · Post by **leonmagic** » Mon Sep 08, 2008 5:23 pm

if i was your boyfriend, i'd be a bit shitty if you were to say something to my mate's girlfriend. just play dumb.

out of curiosity, what does your bf think you should do?

yadster#13 · Post by **yadster#13** » Mon Sep 08, 2008 5:25 pm

Yeah he tells me in confidence thats why I dont repeat it, I'm kinda "In" with all the boys if you know what I mean. None of them really like her, know she has a big mouth, so thats kinda half the reason I havent said it
He said not to say anyting, just wait for him to end it

John Wren · Post by **John Wren** » Mon Sep 08, 2008 5:37 pm

that's a tough one cos it's none of your business but is. maybe it comes down to where your allegiances lie. you might be better off telling the fella to end the relationship asap since it is no good for any of the parties involved. it seems a delaying of the inevitable but both ppl should be allowed to move on as qucikly as possible. currently they are wasted days and months.

yadster#13 · Post by **yadster#13** » Mon Sep 08, 2008 5:47 pm

well thats exactly it
my loyalty lies with my partner, so stick with what he says
they were after all his mates first!
My partner has told him to end it and be honest with her, instead of dragging it out. But think he kinda feels bad, but in the end is making it worse on everyone

sam. · Post by **sam.** » Mon Sep 08, 2008 6:30 pm

about 3 years ago, one of my best friends boyfriends told me he wanted to break up with his girlfriend. we were drunk and i think it just slipped out but i really didnt know what to do. they had been together for about 2 years at this stage, i'd known him for about 3 and known her for 7. i thought it was best to keep it to myself for a bit, as it was between her and him. the next weekend we were out at a club, everyone was either at the bar or at the toilet so i asked him 'do you remember what you said to me last weekend' and hes like 'yeah' and im like 'well you need to do something about it'. about 3 weeks later he broke up with her. i felt like shit, and even tho shes one of my best mates i still didnt want to tell her anything. they broke up for a bit then got back together and they're still together now.

so i dont really have advice just my story.

Kingswood · Post by **Kingswood** » Mon Sep 08, 2008 6:39 pm

sam. wrote: so i dont really have advice just my story.

HAHAHAH!

yadster#13 · Post by **yadster#13** » Mon Sep 08, 2008 9:24 pm

she wont think im a bitch at all, she has told me more thats going on than anyone knows. She is probably going to be upset I knew and didnt say, cos I know she would tell me
Think I will let it just run its course, just feel sorry for her, that everyone else knows whats being said but her

rambopriscilla · Post by **rambopriscilla** » Mon Sep 08, 2008 10:52 pm

Sounds to me like everyone knows it's going to happen, the problem being that breaking up is a bitch. That's why the guy is treating her badly, so that after enough of it she'll want out as much as he does. It's the soft option, but I'll bet a million bucks that's what he's got in mind. So it will happen, he's putting it off, she's denying it (so far) and there's no reason for you to interfere.

yadster#13 · Post by **yadster#13** » Tue Sep 09, 2008 4:50 pm

having dinner with her 2nite and another chick friend of ours
we both agree he is a pig, and she should leave him but we keep that between ourselves, thanks babe u kno wat im talkin about cos u hav met them lol
my lips are sealed tight

yadster#13 · Post by **yadster#13** » Wed Sep 10, 2008 10:13 am

well i got a text at 6.50am this morning its over!
he called it off last nite when she got home
she is very depressed so I just hav to do the nice supportive friend thing now, kinda glad so she can find somone better
thanks for pointers everyone

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I honesty the best policy?

I honesty the best policy?