My Dilemma
Moderators: Hanskies, foxychick
- Magpie Girl
- Posts: 1085
- Joined: Wed Jan 02, 2008 12:08 am
- Location: Down town Bundy! ...& the #43 bandwagon!
My Dilemma
Well, I'll try & get straight to the point.
Over the last 6 weeks I've had my eye on this guy. It all sort of started on my physics trip & have grown since then. We'll call him "N" for the purpose of this story.
I like this guy, I mean I really, really like him. I'm pretty sure I haven't felt like this about many guys before. If he's in my class I'll keep looking over at him, just staring (not stalker-ish though). Everytime I see him I smile at him & he smiles back.
He is georgous. His body, I've been told, is amazing, even if you cant tell. He's very quiet though. When he speaks, you have to listen hard to catch what he says. But that's alright, he's so nice.
My problem, me. I want to tell him how I feel & if he feels the same way but I can't. I find it so hard to talk to guys. I tend to muddle up my words & go incredibly red . I wouldn't know how to act or what to say...?
I'm scared in a way. I don't want to stuff it up & I don't want to be rejected if he doesn't like me back. I could ask a friend to do it but I feel a bit weird about asking a friend to do something like that.
So yeah, ladies (& gents), anyone have any suggestions?
Over the last 6 weeks I've had my eye on this guy. It all sort of started on my physics trip & have grown since then. We'll call him "N" for the purpose of this story.
I like this guy, I mean I really, really like him. I'm pretty sure I haven't felt like this about many guys before. If he's in my class I'll keep looking over at him, just staring (not stalker-ish though). Everytime I see him I smile at him & he smiles back.
He is georgous. His body, I've been told, is amazing, even if you cant tell. He's very quiet though. When he speaks, you have to listen hard to catch what he says. But that's alright, he's so nice.
My problem, me. I want to tell him how I feel & if he feels the same way but I can't. I find it so hard to talk to guys. I tend to muddle up my words & go incredibly red . I wouldn't know how to act or what to say...?
I'm scared in a way. I don't want to stuff it up & I don't want to be rejected if he doesn't like me back. I could ask a friend to do it but I feel a bit weird about asking a friend to do something like that.
So yeah, ladies (& gents), anyone have any suggestions?
"Everyone has their story and mine is unique, but I'm definitely trying to use that to help as many people as I can." - Heritier O'Brien ( 7/7/08 )
Harry, you're a champ!
Harry, you're a champ!
- Kingswood
- Posts: 8674
- Joined: Sat May 05, 2007 7:21 pm
females who worry about being nervous in front of a guy and fumbling their words etc etc, i find that there is nothing cuter. generally when a guy does it, it looks lame unless you can maintain some sort of charm haha
but anyways dont be nervous and if you are who cares it'd be sweet ... if he's a normal guy that will hardly be a turnoff...he should be really flattered.
otherwise just get to know him as a friend first why do you need to share all your feelings from day one..?
this advice probably wont work though... im only 22 but im so out of touch with high school kids these days
but anyways dont be nervous and if you are who cares it'd be sweet ... if he's a normal guy that will hardly be a turnoff...he should be really flattered.
otherwise just get to know him as a friend first why do you need to share all your feelings from day one..?
this advice probably wont work though... im only 22 but im so out of touch with high school kids these days
- David
- Posts: 50682
- Joined: Sun Jul 27, 2003 4:04 pm
- Location: the edge of the deep green sea
- Has liked: 17 times
- Been liked: 83 times
My suggestion is instead of asking him out right away, just try talking to him on a basic level, just as a friend (leave class at the same time as him, for example). I've often found that's one of the hardest things when you've got a crush... you think about them, you imagine going out with them, and yet often it turns out you've barely even talked to them. You should let him get to know you a little, I reckon, and that way you can see if you like each other. Don't ask him out when you barely even know him, that might be a little too much too soon, and also open up your chances of rejection.
One advantage that you have is that you're a girl. Because the onus is usually on us to chase the girl, for a lot of us shyer girls it's a dream come true for a girl to make the first move. So, my advice again is, find time to talk to him over a few weeks, even just small talk, or ask him a question about what the teacher was talking about in class and introduce yourself at the same time... then if, after a couple of weeks, things still look pretty good, then try asking him out. Anyway, I hope that it works out for you, I was in this position so many times in high school and never did the right thing. And, if you do get rejected, it's his loss - it always hurts, but anyone who just rejects you like that is probably a dickhead anyhow.
Good luck
One advantage that you have is that you're a girl. Because the onus is usually on us to chase the girl, for a lot of us shyer girls it's a dream come true for a girl to make the first move. So, my advice again is, find time to talk to him over a few weeks, even just small talk, or ask him a question about what the teacher was talking about in class and introduce yourself at the same time... then if, after a couple of weeks, things still look pretty good, then try asking him out. Anyway, I hope that it works out for you, I was in this position so many times in high school and never did the right thing. And, if you do get rejected, it's his loss - it always hurts, but anyone who just rejects you like that is probably a dickhead anyhow.
Good luck
"Every time we witness an injustice and do not act, we train our character to be passive in its presence." – Julian Assange
- Fire Up
- Posts: 14233
- Joined: Sat Sep 17, 2005 9:04 pm
- Location: in a house
- Magpie Girl
- Posts: 1085
- Joined: Wed Jan 02, 2008 12:08 am
- Location: Down town Bundy! ...& the #43 bandwagon!
Thanks guys!
Well, I have actually been talking to him lately. I say stuff to him sometimes, just small talk kinda stuff. For instance, I went to Rock Eisteddfod about 3 or 4 weeks ago & on the way home he moved back a seat to sit just in front of me. We spen most of the time talking & stuff. THen he sat with my friend & I when we stopped for dinner.
So I've talking to him a bit. It's not like I've never spoken to him & have just suddenly had a massive crush on him...
BUT!
Since I last posted that 1st post I have had some improvements..... I was talking to one of his & my friends on msn & this guy was saying that him, a few other boys & N are all going up north to this Engineering camp thingo this week. This friend of mine was asking me if I liked N. I said yes, obviously. Then he said that he was going to tell N that I liked him.... I agreed. Then he's going to ask if he likes me.... I agreed. Then if all is going well by that stage he's going to ask him out for me...... I agreed.
Fingers crossed this works out.....
(sorry for any terrible spelling, my nails are really long atm & i can't see the screen clearly)
Well, I have actually been talking to him lately. I say stuff to him sometimes, just small talk kinda stuff. For instance, I went to Rock Eisteddfod about 3 or 4 weeks ago & on the way home he moved back a seat to sit just in front of me. We spen most of the time talking & stuff. THen he sat with my friend & I when we stopped for dinner.
So I've talking to him a bit. It's not like I've never spoken to him & have just suddenly had a massive crush on him...
BUT!
Since I last posted that 1st post I have had some improvements..... I was talking to one of his & my friends on msn & this guy was saying that him, a few other boys & N are all going up north to this Engineering camp thingo this week. This friend of mine was asking me if I liked N. I said yes, obviously. Then he said that he was going to tell N that I liked him.... I agreed. Then he's going to ask if he likes me.... I agreed. Then if all is going well by that stage he's going to ask him out for me...... I agreed.
Fingers crossed this works out.....
(sorry for any terrible spelling, my nails are really long atm & i can't see the screen clearly)
"Everyone has their story and mine is unique, but I'm definitely trying to use that to help as many people as I can." - Heritier O'Brien ( 7/7/08 )
Harry, you're a champ!
Harry, you're a champ!
- luvdids
- Posts: 3963
- Joined: Sat Mar 22, 2008 1:56 am
- Location: work
Shouldn't you really be asking him out yourself?
Maybe I'm out of touch, but that doesn't really sound like the way I'd go about it... What if he does like you at the moment, then because you're getting people to find out if he likes you, then they let him know that you like him, then they ask him to go out with you.... I dunno... just sounds a bit childish, and he might find it a turn off?
What would guys think about that??
Maybe I'm out of touch, but that doesn't really sound like the way I'd go about it... What if he does like you at the moment, then because you're getting people to find out if he likes you, then they let him know that you like him, then they ask him to go out with you.... I dunno... just sounds a bit childish, and he might find it a turn off?
What would guys think about that??
- sam.
- Posts: 3707
- Joined: Wed Oct 01, 2003 12:09 am
- Location: Sydenham
- Contact:
- leonmagic
- Posts: 3430
- Joined: Mon Aug 16, 2004 7:24 pm
i thought the cut-off age for telling someone's friend that you liked them and then asking them to find out if they like you and then asking what he thinks of your hair and does he prefer you with a pink or a red bow in your hair and what's his favourite powerade flavour cos i'll buy him one and what's his locker combination so i can leave it in there to surprise him was 13?
ask him out yourself.
ask him out yourself.
- John Wren
- Posts: 24186
- Joined: Sun Jul 15, 2007 5:28 pm
but surely you did that sort of stuff in 'your' day?! i was going to suggest prior to mg telling us that that avenue is not the best one.luvdids wrote:Shouldn't you really be asking him out yourself?
Maybe I'm out of touch, but that doesn't really sound like the way I'd go about it... What if he does like you at the moment, then because you're getting people to find out if he likes you, then they let him know that you like him, then they ask him to go out with you.... I dunno... just sounds a bit childish, and he might find it a turn off?
What would guys think about that??
study up on body language.
Purveyor of sanctimonious twaddle.
- yadster#13
- Posts: 238
- Joined: Wed Jul 25, 2007 2:19 pm
- Location: Sunny seaford
- Contact: